Saturday, August 27, 2016
I'd be willing to forgive the needless story elements and maybe even the annoying neighbors if HOUSE delivered an scary as Hell ghost story, but that doesn't happen. Not even close. Instead of actually being scary, HOUSE is a weak horror comedy without any laughs. The best thing HOUSE has going for it is that awesome poster, a brief appearance by Mindy Sterling and some 80's nostalgia. Other than that I was bored for the entire movie. Zero gore, zero blood, zero nudity, average looking monsters, boring ghost world, beautiful house, weak ending, low violence. Somehow HOUSE was rated R, but it could probably pass for PG nowadays.
I sat down to watch HOUSE hoping to enjoy a cool 80's horror flick like NIGHT OF THE CREEPS or FRIGHT NIGHT, but ended up being bored into fits of explosive yawning. Now I remember why I only watched this once back in 1986 and never watched it again! Skip it.
Part 2 - House II: The Second Story (1987)
Part 3 - The Horror Show (1989)
Part 4 - House IV (1992)