Monday, November 28, 2016


A hipster punk band hears about a gig at a bar out in the woods that'll pay $350 for one of their weak ass performances.  They go, do the gig and then due to their stupidity (and lack of manners), witness a murder.  Ahh, shit!  This ain't good.  And it's even worse when they realize the people who did the murder are running a heroin operation out of the basement.  A heroin operation?!!  Booor-rring!  It would have been more awesome if one of the band members had been into snuff films and then realized (when he got lost) that the (literal) green coloured room he accidentally wandered the set of the most brutal snuff film he's ever seen...and he's being watched right now!  A SERBIAN FILM-style, motherfucker!!! 

Lack of imagination aside, GREEN ROOM was surprisingly low energy and nowhere near as violent as I had hoped.  Muted colours, average acting, a few good songs playing in the background (Napalm Death, old Slayer, etc), weak ending, zero nudity, mild violence (the majority of it was offscreen and/or so poorly lit that you could only guess what was happening...when I watch a movie about a dog ripping out somebody's throat I want to see it!), Patrick Stewart trying to act evil (but without him actually ever doing anything demented onscreen I just wasn't buying it), medium pace, Minor Threat t-shirt, Dead Kennedys t-shirt.

Worth a watch if you're into this sort of thing, but it's nothing to get worked up over.