THE ROAD (2009)

[Update 11/17/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

A few years after an apocalyptic event kills most of the humans and animals on Earth, a Man and his Boy are wandering around the countryside scavenging for canned goods and supplies as they make their way towards the ocean.  The places they visit are mostly uninhabited, so the majority of the film is simply the Man and the Boy walking and walking and walking.  Very exciting.

I love post-apocalyptic stories, but this one did nothing for me.  It looked good, but you've have to have something happen! The story doesn't have to be anything profound, but it has to be more than just two people wandering around. Have some cannibals steal his son and then have the Man chase after them and kick some ass...or not kick ass and they both get eaten. I would have rather seen that than these two half-dead motherfuckers walking around for two hours looking sad.

If you need me I'll be in my Y2K shelter reading Robert McCammon's "Swan Song".

THE TALL T (1957)

Randolph Scott is a tough rancher in town on errands. On his way back out to his spread he and a couple riding a stage are taken hostage by three blood-thirsty outlaws. The husband of the woman is a yellow-bellied wimp who instantly tells the bad guys that his wife's father is rich, so now it's up to Scott to outsmart these scumbags while they wait on their ransom.

Watchable story, but there's really not enough depth to the characters or the story to make it worth recommending. Scott was good, but he just didn't have the screen presence of John Wayne or Jimmy Stewart. I was a little disappointed. Worth watching if you're bored.

VAMPIRE GIRL VS FRANKENSTEIN GIRL (2009)

Set in a world where every human has at least 666 gallons of bright red, high-pressure blood in them, VAMPIRE GIRL VS FRANKENSTEIN GIRL tells the story of Monami, a new transfer student to Tokyo High School who just happens to also be a vampire!  She has a crush on Mizushima, who is the kinda-boyfriend of  fellow student Keiko.  Keiko's father is the vice principal and secretly a mad scientist who, in cahoots with the sexy school nurse, is killing students and experimenting on reanimation.  Things happen and Keiko is soon transformed into Frankenstein Girl.  

 

That story sounds silly as hell (and it is), but for whatever reason, I honestly found moments of this film to be emotionally beautiful.  Blood spraying 30 feet in the arm, suicidal girl slicing their wrists to the bone (literally, on camera), non-stop dismemberment and cartoonish violence...but yet, the story was very sad and left me sitting in an introspective daze more than once.

 

I'm normally not a big fan of the wacky-Japanese-over-the-top genre, but VGVFG really connected with me. Imaginative story, quick pace that never lets up for a minute, beautiful girls (especially Yukie Kawamura), high school setting, excellent music that fit very well with the action onscreen (that simple Oasis-style tune that played when Monami was falling was magnificent), insane creatures, masterful direction, a delightful take on the vampire and Frankenstein stories, over exaggerated high school cliques, sexy school uniforms.  I could go about this movie for a long time, but you'd be better suited just leaving this shitty review and watching it for yourself.

Also, there's some fun extras on the blu-ray, including over an hour of footage filmed during the making of the movie! Great stuff.