I watched CHRISTMAS AT THE AMISH BAKERY due to my interest in PLUS ONE AT AN AMISH WEDDING, but there’s really no comparing to two. Which in itself is fascinating because both films are soulless, but soulless in different ways! Honestly, I could talk about this film for hours. It’s fucking mind-blowing at just how nothing this movie is. Like every single aspect of the movie was completely void of personality or imagination. It was kinda awesome. As somebody who’s (handsome) brain is exploding with hundreds of novel-length stories daily, it was refreshing to sit down and watch something so dull. It’s like Valium for your brain!
Steady pace, nothing story, unrealistic dialogue, trite upbeat acting that had me rolling my gorgeous eyeballs non-stop, zero nudity, zero gore, extras waiting on the actors, not one single song by the band Marty Buttworm, fake snow (and only placed around where the actors were standing), a Second Christmas on Dec. 26th, food illustrations a la The Great British Baking Show (god, I love that fucking show!), a few outdoor scenes that looked like they were filmed on a green screen, very small cast. Does lemon juice really keep banana slices from turning brown??
I liked CHRISTMAS AT THE AMISH BAKERY and had a blast watching it. At one point I even smacked myself on the forehead with the palm of my hand. But I was a little confused by the lack of religion in this film. Very early in the film, our hero says, “Happy holidays” not “Merry Christmas”, so I was expecting that to be foreshadowing of some kind of coming to Christ bullshit later on, but…nope. Outside of one random Bible verse and a Nativity Story play, there’s very little mention of religion at all. Although, at the end of the movie Sarah does say “Merry Christmas.” Praise Jesus. Also, I was severely disappointed by the lack of shit-talking about city folk.
Meh, I have a bunch more to say, but nobody reads this shit.
