SCHOOL'S OUT (1999)

A small group of teenagers break into a high school for some after hours shenanigans. The shenanigans never happen because a dork with large scissors starts stabbing everybody. Boring stuff happens and the Final Girl escapes, but within a few days she steals a gun off a cop and goes hunting for the person who killed her friends.  Yawn.

It’s difficult to have any feelings (positive or negative) about SCHOOL’S OUT because it’s such a nothing movie. The story is older than your grandpappy’s dick, the cast is so blah that nobody stood out, the lighting sucked, the setting sucked, the camerawork really sucked and the story! What the fuck? At multiple points, somebody had the killer in a position where they could easily kill him but didn’t. It was extremely frustrating. No gore, very little blood, zero nudity, overly complicated story…outside of looking for something to laugh at with friends I cannot see any reason why anybody would like this film. Skip it with a vengeance and never look back.

Part 2 - Dead Island: School's Out 2 (2001)

PIRANHA II: THE SPAWNING (1981)

Awwwwhh yeah!!!! All of your favorite pran-yahs are back in town! You got Bitey, Nibbler, Toecutter, Copernicus Jr., Evil Professor Doomsmurf, Scooty Puff, Beaker, Sparkle, Fifthwheel, Brown Cloud, The Larry, Citizen Balls, Whisker Biscuit, Chompers, Three Bean Queef, After You Clean Your Diarrhea, Slappy, Menlo Schwartzer, Rumple Fforeskin, Lil' Orphan Funkhouser, Daniel Bean Boone, Gil Saint Geegland, Focuscocking On Mass, Egbert Rumpus Bumpus, Pathetic Weiner, The Fucker, Devourer of Feculence, Stewmaster McPhatcock, Stinky Lomax, Bucephalus the Bicycle, Chad Farthouse, Timothy Nazlerod, Rip Van Winkle Ballz, Gorilla Thunder Monkey, Inspector Underwear, Skidmark and introducing the new piranha: Sir-Flies-A-Little (With the Help of Wires)! Imagine how excited I was!!!

Actually, I wasn’t excited at all since the original film is just barely okay. And it ends up there was no need for excitement cause part 2 is even less okay than the first film. Long story short, the piranhas are vacationing at a beachside resort in Jamaica and can now fly a little. People start popping up dead with beaucoups of small bite wounds all over them. Police officer Lance Henriksen is on the case. At the same time, people still go diving nonstop and hanging out near the beach. It’s all very boring. The beginning of the film was a little bit promising with some good character development but it just keeps dragging on and on and the kill scenes are all lame.

The film features James Cameron’s name as the Director, but it doesn’t have that normal Cameron feel to it at all. Apparently there was a ton of difficulty during the filming of PIRANHA II: THE SPAWNING, so I don’t consider this to be a true Cameron picture. Cameron involvement aside, P2:TS isn’t much of a film. Boring pace, meh camerawork, average early 80’s low-budget special effects, very brief nudity, an adult actress making out and getting topless with an under-18 male actor, unsatisfying everything else. Skip it, unless you're curious or really bored.

Original - Piranha (1978)
Remake - Piranha (1995)
Reboot 1 - Piranha 3D (2010)
Reboot sequel - Piranha 3DD (2012)