Sunday, January 16, 2011

PIRANHA (2010)

Sheriff Elizabeth Shue discovers that a bunch of killer piranhas are headed right for the drunken, rap loving Spring Breakers that are infesting her town. Instead of making the world a better place and not telling anyone, but she does the evil thing and warns them. Naturally they don't listen and soon get eaten.

I really expected this movie to take the dick and suck it, but it was actually pretty entertaining. Not entertaining enough that I would ever want to watch it again, but I got some good laughs out of it. Also Kelly Brook is extraordinarily beautiful, but yet her nude scene totally sucked! She has one of the hottest bodies on the planet, but for whatever reason, maybe the 3D bullshit, her naked body looked all cartoony to the point that I couldn't even tell if it was real or not. And that happened a lot with this movie. Nearly all of the gore and blood scenes looked CGI but when you watch the extras you see that they're actually not! It was really weird. I know this is just a cheesy killer fish movie, but really wish the filmmakers would have concentrated more on writing an original script and using real special effects instead of trying to look slick. The movie is fun, but the script is garbage. It's like the scriptwriters had a slumber party and watched JAWS, JAWS 2, EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS, the original PIRANHA and just mash it all together with a dash of "Girls Gone Wild" parody. It's crap, but I guess the target audience really doesn't care. Hopefully Part 2 has an better story, more gore and more action.

Nice amount of tits, tons of crappy looking CGI, really horrible rap and techno bullshit, a bunch of really good actors in supporting roles, Elisabeth Shue looking old!, crushed head, chick's hair stuck in boat propeller, roaring piranhas, blood all over the place with lots of gnawed up limbs. Definitely a fun rent, but that's about it.

Best scene in the movie: during the main attack scene a dude says fuck this shit, jumps in a boat and just starts running people over! It was hilarious.

Part 1
Part 2
Reboot 2

Is this a nod to the famous TITANIC shot?