Monday, January 25, 2010

PANDORUM (2009)

Hundreds of years from now Earth is even more fucked than it is now, so 60,000 humans pack their shit onto a huge spaceship and head out to distant Earth-like planet. While everybody hypersnoozes, there's just three people left awake aboard to take care of the entire ship. Sounds like a great idea! One of the three caretakers goes bonkers and kills the other two, then he, well I can't tell you, but everybody is asleep for a very long time and when our hero wakes up at the beginning of the movie he doesn't know shit. That's an interesting idea and I enjoyed the first 2 or 3 minutes, but soon it settles into your standard human vs. creatures on a spaceship story.

Worth watching if you're really bored, but with zero gore, very little character development, no tension, zero tits, monsters twitching around like they have ants in their pants and super fast editing melting your eyeballs, you'll have trouble caring how it all ends. Yawn.