Journalist Michael Caine travels to Miami to investigate the
600+ boats and 2,000+ people(!!!) that have gone missing in the last
three years in the Bermuda Triangle. For whatever reason (it had something
to do with his ex-wife), he brings along his annoying 12-year-old son.
Ugh! I hate this kid. Anyway, the story drags along at a snails pace
until finally at the 33-minute mark they run into some...wait for
it...pirates! What the hell? That's right. This group of like
50 or so pirates have been living undisturbed on a uncharted island for the last
300 years. Well, "undisturbed" except for the thousands of people they've
somehow managed to kill over the years.
Anyway, whatever, so there's bloodthirsty pirates on the island. Caine and
his annoying son are captured. The annoying kid is brainwashed into
thinking he's a annoying pirate and Caine is used as a sex slave of one of the
women. That idea is definitely promising, but unfortunately outside of two
awesome scenes the rest of the film is pretty boring. The first highlight
scene is when the pirates attack a drug smuggling boat and they fight a martial
arts dude. The other highlight scene is when they attack a Coast Guard
cutter. (Fun fact: the Coast Guard cutter used in the film is the
USCGC Dauntless
which six years later was the first ship on site of the space shuttle Challenger
disaster.)
Mild violence, mildly interesting (and ludicrous) story that wasn't executed
properly, average acting, annoying pirate language, annoying kid who I hated,
lackluster
topless scene
and a covered bottomless scene, open-ended story, a fake as hell looking head
getting hit with a ax, nice scenery and a interesting cast of lesser-known
actors who've been in a ton of movies.
Worth a watch for action-adventure fans, but it's nothing to get too excited
over A remake could be interesting.