A group of ultradouchers quit smelling their own farts long enough to travel to
South America to save a remote village from getting bulldozed by loggers.
The villagers repay their kindness by chopping them up and eating them for
lunch...and dinner..and breakfast...and maybe even a few leftovers for a
mid-morning snack. The End.
Other than eye-rolling annoyance for the first 40 minutes or so, I didn't really
have any emotions during THE GREEN INFERNO. The activists during the first
act were unbearably annoying and when the cannibals finally showed up the
the second act I just found them to be boring. Then when the victims were
captured and taken to the village I was hoping for some APOCALYPTO-style jungle
chase excitement or maybe some
RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II
escape and running around in the jungle action, but no. Instead there was
just a bunch of sitting in a wooden cage bitching and moaning interrupted by the
occasional cannibal feasting scene.
I can only imagine that being captured by a village full of cannibals would be
mind-destroyingly terrifying, but unfortunately none of that terror is expressed
in THE GREEN INFERNO. I had zero compassion for the main characters.
I hated them all. And even when they were captured I still didn't give a
shit. And on the other side of the spectrum, the villagers were all
bland. The one standout was the yellow and black-painted guy but he didn't
come off as being a badass or anything, just unique looking.
Overall, THE GREEN INFERNO is a watchable film, but just kind of soulless and
meh.


























