True story: Did you know, that in the original script for Short Circuit, Johnny 5 had the line "Stephanie, do not disassemble my cock ring!"? Yeah, that's not even remotely true. I just made that up.
An American robotic laboratory is working on making robots for the military. As the film opens, we see some of the prototype robots being used in a live demonstration for the military. Blowing up vehicles with lasers and stuff like that. Afterward, as the five robots are being moved back into the lab, a lightning bolt strikes one of the robots and brings him to life. Kinda like Frankenstein's monster. But instead of tossing a kid in a lake, Number 5 goes on a sightseeing adventure. He eventually falls off a bridge and into the life of the free-spirited, Stephanie (Ally Sheedy). Stephanie originally thinks that Number 5 is an alien, so she's more than happy to tell him all about life on Earth. Number 5 loves all of this "input" and quickly becomes an expert on stuff like imitating The Three Stooges, making a huge mess while trying to to cook breakfast, disco dancing and falling off the porch. At the same time, while Number 5 is busy perfecting his George Raft impersonation, the people from the robotics lab are frantically looking for him...so they can kill him!
SHORT CIRCUIT isn't an all-time 1980's family classic like THE PRINCESS BRIDE, LABYRINTH or BACK TO THE FUTURE, but it's still a fun ride. The entire story is super silly, the pace moves along quickly enough and the old 80's tech is fun to check out. Definitely worth a watch for anybody interested in 1980's Cinema. Recommended.
This is not part of the review, but I am curious what would have happened, if instead of Stephanie being a normal human being, she was some kind of deviant with nothing but old worn out Hustler magazines laying around instead of encyclopedias. Johnny 5 would have ended up a goddamn freak!!! He'd be saying all kinds of nasty shit that don't even make sense and the last word of each sentence would be really, really loud and high-pitched: "Stephanie, you have a big ol' cock I like to kiss, you...BITCH!!!"; "Suck my mechanical dick, Newton Crosby, you...WHORE!!!"; "Stephanie, eat my metal butthole, you...SLUT!!!"; "Newton Crosby, your pussy smells like the floor of a shrimp...BOAT!!!"; "Who da fuck doest thou think thou...ART!!!"; "Somebody please tongue-punch me in my brown...HOLE!!!" "I'm a sailor with the sea air in my...PUSS!!!" You know, stuff like that.
Part 2 - Short Circuit 2 (1988)
