HATCHETMAN (2003)

It’s a small world after all. The Los Angeles police are stumped when a new serial killer, known as The Hatchetman, shows up. But they really shouldn’t be stumped because she or he or they is only killing strippers who work at a certain club and live at a particular apartment complex. The lead (aka only) Homicide detective should have figured this out since he’s dating one of the strippers! What an amazing coincidence.

The story might be shabby, but for an early 00’s skin flick/slasher, HATCHETMAN is alright. Although it's too weak to be classified as Horror. I remember watching it when it was new and not enjoying it, but while watching it again for this review I actually got a few giggles out of it. It probably had something to do with the nostalgia of it.

Script that probably took less than a day to write, multiple nude scenes early on, vintage electronics, cool old fashions, a random U2 CD, multiple strip club patrons that looked very bored or confused and nowhere near as excited as that dude at the strip club in WISHMASTER 4, okay pace that never dwelled for too long, a storyline (the hidden camera) that just disappeared without explanation, zero gore, very little blood.

HATCHETMAN isn't great Cinema (it's barely even average Cinema), but in a state of crushing depression it can be an amusing distraction.  Or, if you're looking for a better early 2000's obscure slasher, you'd probably be better off with BLOODY MURDER since it actually tries to be a Horror film.  And it's way funnier.

Back to HATCHETMAN, I'm kinda surprised that the two main female leads didn't star in more films since they were both good actresses.

U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind

POSSIBLY IN MICHIGAN (1983)

"Arthur longed for that sexual scent that smelled like home."

Unless you’re a highly paid film critic like myself, then there's little reason for you to sit through all of POSSIBLY IN MICHIGAN. Yeah, it’s only 12 minutes long (or 10:25 if you discount the end credits), but even then nothing cool happens after the first few minutes.

Two young women are at the mall doing a little shopping when they notice that they are being stalked by a creepy dude. Even worse...he’s not attractive! Barf. Instead of telling the suede/denim secret police that an uncool guy is breathing, they simply leave, but the unattractive guy follows them because he is longing “…for that sexual scent that smelled like home.” Sounds reasonable enough.

The first four minutes of POSSIBLY IN MICHIGAN are awesome and maybe even ahead of its time. Hell, I can’t think of anything off the top of my silly clowny clown clown head that was like it before 1983. That said, the rest of the film was like watching a recording of a boring dream that I forgot about because it was so boring.

As far as the story goes, I’m not even going to attempt to tell you what it means. I have no clue. The acting is what it is and the look of the film is fun to watch. Overall, I’m very happy that POSSIBLY IN MICHIGAN was made. (I was even fortunate enough recently to see it in a movie theater.) If you have a curious nature, then the first half is perfect enough to endure the boredom of the second half.