FRANCIS IN THE NAVY (1955)

“Boy idiot” Peter is now an Army officer (Satan only knows how that happened!) and when he gets word that his ol’ buddy Francis is about to be sold in a military auction, he rushes to go save him. Unfortunately, some Navy people see Peter and mistake him for a Navy sailor by the name of Slicker who’s always running off to slide his slick penis into somebody. So, thinking that they are saving their friend, they capture Slicker / Peter and take him back to the Navy base where he’s tossed into the mental ward. Yet again.

One thing that confuses me about the Francis series is why didn't the filmmakers ever try to liven things up? It's literally the same weakass story told over and over with very little change. By this 6th installment the jokes are running thin, but yet, the idea of a talking mule still makes me smile. I legit laughed out loud when Francis started bidding on himself during the auction. The dude (Chill Wills) who does Francis' voice does an excellent job. I honestly wish all of the movies were more about Francis and less about Peter, but whatever. It is what it is.

Quick pace, dumb as hell story, Francis talking shit, Peter being so stupid that I don’t even know how he stays alive, a strong supporting cast (including a lil’ baby Clint Eastwood), a few scenes of Peter hugging Francis (I really enjoy the scenes of them being loving towards each other), vintage cars, zero nudity, vintage clothing and best of all: in the final scene it shows Francis and Peter together. That was sweet.

Overall, FRANCIS IN THE NAVY (or "Francis Join's the Navy" as that one confused newspaper ad below says) is an alright film. Probably one of the better ones of the series, but that isn't saying much since none of them really stand out. That said, I got a few giggles out of this installment.

Part 1 - Francis (1950)
Part 2 - Francis Goes to the Races (1951)
Part 3 - Francis Goes to West Point (1952)
Part 4 - Francis Covers the Big Town (1953)
Part 5 - Francis Joins the WACS (1954)
Part 7 - Francis in the Haunted House (1956)

FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS (1954)

As you remember, at the end of part 4, Francis was making out with a zebra in Central Park while Peter and his girlfriend watched. Well, as part 5 opens, all of that has been tossed out the window apparently. Peter and Francis are separated once again, the girlfriend is M.I.A. and now, big dummy Peter (who’s even dumber than ever) is working as a bank teller. Within a few seconds of us seeing Peter for the first time, he starts screaming inside the bank lobby and then accidentally sets off the alarm! Next thing you know, Peter has been re-enlisted into the military and somehow sent to an all-female camp. You would think that they’d toss him out on his unwanted dick, but nope, he’s put in charge of whipping the women into shape for an upcoming war game. So, where is Francis during all of this? Funny you should ask, because on Peter’s first night in camp, as he’s standing in his room holding up a bra while saying “Fancy earmuffs.” …Francis magically appears in the window! Shit doesn’t make any sense at all, but whatever. I’ll roll with it.

FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS is the silliest film of the series so far. But that's not saying much cause they're all dumb as fuck. One interesting thing we do learn in FJTWACS is that in Peter’s Official Military Personnel File (OMPF) it states that he’s already been committed into “neuro-psychiatric retention” 27 times! That's some "Howling Mad" Murdock numbers right there. And it explains a lot because Peter is totally unhinged in this installment. Dude can barely walk three feet without causing a ruckus. Another funny thing is the real-life voice of Francis is an actor named Chill Wills and he appears in this film as a general who bumps heads with Francis. So now you got scenes of a real-life actor arguing with himself in the form of his other character. That was cute.

If you're watching the series in order, then this installment is just more of the same shtick. Peter gets into all kinds of trouble because he's a moron, Francis saves his ass, nobody believes that Francis can talk, Francis talks, everybody loses their shit, the end. Three things I did like about FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS: there's more scenes of Francis doing things and out in public than usual; it had a good supporting cast (including Julie Adams, Mamie Van Doren and ZaSu Pitts) and finally, in the last scene Francis and Peter walk off together. I get really upset when they part ways. It's very depressing.

Curious how many old-timey CFNM fetishists got their start seeing Peter working out in his underwear surrounded by a hundred giggling (and fully clothed) women?

Part 1 - Francis (1950)
Part 2 - Francis Goes to the Races (1951)
Part 3 - Francis Goes to West Point (1952)
Part 4 - Francis Covers the Big Town (1953)
Part 6 - Francis in the Navy (1955)
Part 7 - Francis in the Haunted House (1956)