FRANCIS GOES TO THE RACES (1951)

Taking up immediately where the original film ends, FRANCIS GOES TO THE RACES finds the kind-hearted dummy Peter Stirling (Donald O’Connor) and his shit-talking buddy Francis hanging out at a racetrack.  Peter has the hots for the granddaughter (Piper Laurie) of a local thoroughbred owner but he fails so fantastically at flirting with her that he ends up nearly being fitted for “cement slippers” by a local crime boss!  Francis has to save the day.

Obviously, FRANCIS GOES TO THE RACES isn’t going to be the height of Cinema, but for entertainment, I was completely satisfied.  And I was impressed by the performances of the entire cast.  Literally everybody played the entire thing straight.  The overall tone of the film felt serious and it worked because it made the shit-talking by Francis just that much more humorous.

The only negative thing I have to say about FRANCIS GOES TO THE RACES is early on in the film Francis wanted to split up with Peter.  That made me sad and really depressed, but eventually Francis changed his mind and they were buddies again.  That made me happy, but I was still sad.

I know this is dumb, but the shot at 1:30 of Francis and Peter walking down the road side-by-side reminded me of the original opening credits of The Andy Griffith Show made 9 years later.

Part 1 - Francis (1950)
Part 3 - Francis Goes to West Point (1952)
Part 4 - Francis Covers the Big Town (1953)
Part 5 - Francis Joins the WACS (1954)
Part 6 - Francis in the Navy (1955)
Part 7 - Francis in the Haunted House (1956)

ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN (1958)

A wealthy woman is still in love with her worthless husband despite the fact that he spends nearly all of his spare time shacked up with some nasty skank down at the local watering hole.  He doesn’t even try to hide that shit either!  One evening, the wife is driving home in a rage when she sees a spaceship in the road.  She jumps out of her whip and runs away.  The local police can’t find any proof of her story, so she continues home where she bickers with her husband and then falls asleep.  It’s exciting stuff.  Things go around and around like this with the local cops doing next to nothing, the husband cheating and the wife getting pissed off for 56 minutes of the film’s 66-minute runtime.  Finally, with the film nearly over, the spurned woman grows to 50 feet tall and goes in search of that silver-tongued ding-a-ling slinger she calls a husband.

Whatever genius came up with the expression “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” back 73,000 million hundred years ago was probably referring to ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN.  The poster (with artwork by Reynold Brown) has passed the test of time and become one of the most iconic posters of the 1950’s science fiction boom, but the movie itself is a stinker.  Short runtime, crap special effects, below average acting (the deputy was especially annoying), a person who "pulled a boner", boring script, abrupt ending, low budget, small cast and sets that consist of a house, a bar, some random fields and a small street. People bad mouth PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, but I think that film is way better than AOT50FW.

Worth watching for those who are curious, but most others will probably end up falling asleep and dream of something more exciting.

Remake - Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman (1993)