BLOODY MURDER (2000)

At first glance, things might look all hunky-dory over at Camp Placid Pines [insert Camp Flaccid Penis joke here], but they’re not. Nope. No siree Bob. The camp workers (who are prepping the camp for the summer rush) have an invasive serial killer problem. A normal human would probably head for the hills, or in this case, head away from the hills when their co-workers start dropping like flies, but these people seem to be latched in an almost Bunuelian way to the camp. The killings continue.

I’m 100% positive that I wrote a review trashing BLOODY MURDER back when it was a new release. I have no idea where that review is or who I even wrote it for, but just like how I originally hated AX’EM long ago (and now love it), I really enjoyed BLOODY MURDER when I revisited it for this review. I guess some things just get better with age. Like they say, “Older the berry, sweeter the juice.”

So yeah, anyway. BLOODY MURDER isn’t gonna knock any current slasher summer camp classics (like FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI, THE BURNING or SLEEPAWAY CAMP) off their pedestals, but, as far as entertainment goes, I enjoyed BLOODY MURDER. So much so that I watched it three times! Solid pace, silly kills, awesome late 1990’s fashions, playful acting that made me smile, lots of daylight scenes, zero nudity (sadly), respectable body count, ancient technology, straightforward direction, beautiful scenery, very little blood, zero gore, goofy dialogue that honestly cracked me up (in a good way) at how bad it was.

I’m sure that zero humans will ever read this review, but if in the year 3955 somebody accidentally stumbles across it...you should check out BLOODY MURDER. It’s an endearing and sweet slasher. Almost like the best parts of a Christian-made horror, but without the Jesus stuff. Which, now that I think about, really makes me sad that there probably aren't any hardcore Christian-made horror movies. At least, not from the 1990’s. That sucks. God, that would be the best! Just imagine some Mike Warnke-level comedy hijinks mixed with a summer Bible Camp slasher film…that’s rated G and has a Christian message and a grainy picture.  Oh God, could there be anything better? There might not be a Heaven in real life, but my handsome brain is there right now.

Part 2 - Bloody Murder 2 (2003)