SPLASH (1984)

Forrest Gump is knocked unconscious when he falls off a boat near Cape Cod and he would have drown if he hadn't been saved by a mermaid (Daryl Hannah) who falls in love with him.  Stuff happens and the mermaid follows him back to New York City.  They hook up (she can somehow magically grow legs when she's out of the water) and then all kinds of "only in the movies" problem arise simply because she refuses to tell him she's a part-time mermaid.  Stuff like a mermaid obsessed scientist (Eugene Levy) stalking them, the government getting involved, her hiding from the rain, him being confused as fuck all the time, etc.  Also, at one point he illegally parks directly in front of a police station and doesn't get murdered by the police.  Totally unbelievable.

This was my first time seeing SPLASH and I'm kinda confused as to why it made so much money in the theaters back in 1984.  It's a okay film, but nothing special.  Yet somehow it made three million more than THE TERMINATOR and THE LAST STARFIGHTER combined!!!  It was the #10 money maker for the year!  I guess it was a good date movie or some of it could be attributed the desperate nerds wanting to wack off to Daryl Hannah's ass. Who knows. I've never been a part of normal human society so maybe something in this film was lost on me.

Mediocre story, average acting, no real laugh out loud moments only a few chuckles, John Candy in a few scenes not doing much, Ron Howard's dad, Ron Howard's brother, cool NYC street scenes including (in the highlight of the movie) an awesome looking theater showing a double-feature of THE EVIL DEAD and XTRO playing right next to a porno theater(?) showing films called THE MISTRESS, SWEET CHEEKS and SKINTIGHT...not even sure if those are real movies.

TICKS (1993)

A group of twenty-year-old looking teenage city slickers go out to the woods with two social workers as part of a wilderness retreat. The group is your standard early 1990's horror movie teenager cliches: brooding dude, quiet girl, wannabe gangbanger and so on. Luckily for the viewer none of them are annoying and their banter is kinda funny. Like when the gangbanger keeps loudly lamenting that he should have brought his piece. At first, things go alright, but then our heroes find out that the patch of woods they're in is about to be taken over by very large ticks!  Nasty.

TICKS, or Infested as it was originally released, is an alright movie.  No real ups or downs, steady pace, okay special effects, tolerable acting, mild violence, zero nudity, zero tension.  Overall, it's an alright time-waster, but just too bland for it's own good.  There's never any shocking or stand out moments.  The movie just plugs along and then it's over.

Worth a nostalgic watch for fans of 90's horror, but others will probably be bored.