NEEDFUL THINGS (1993)

Extremely watered down version of Stephen King's classic novel about an elderly gentleman, Leland Gaunt, who opens a mysterious antique shop in the quiet town of Castle Rock, Maine. Sounds innocent enough except that Leland Gaunt is actually an ancient and sinister creature who sells more than antiques. What he sells are people's secret desires and he doesn't accept money, instead he only accepts deeds and in this way he slowly turns all of the people in Castle Rock against each other. In the book there's much, much more going on but in this slimmed down movie version it's pretty cut and dry. It is nice seeing the town of Castle Rock brought to life, but there is just so much missing that honestly I wish they had never even made this movie. It would have been better off as a one season TV series on HBO. I did go through the trouble of finding and purchasing the three hour version and it is better, but the picture is so goddamn dreadful that I couldn't even watch it all (screenshots below).

If you've never read the book and you have no intention of reading the book, then I guess this movie version is entertaining enough, but the violence is weak and the whole thing just seems like a smaller version of something much bigger. I can't recommend it.  The only bright spot is Max von Sydow as Leland Gaunt.  He's excellent. Read the book and just forget this movie even exists.

Three hour version screenshots:

HANNAH AND HER SISTERS (1986)

"I can't fathom my own heart."

[Update 07/18/2021: Need to edit this review and fix the screenshots.]

HANNAH AND HER SISTERS is anchored around three consecutive Thanksgivings. Kinda like Bergman's FANNY AND ALEXANDER had three Christmas'. The movie opens with a dinner celebration taking place on the first Thanksgiving. Michael Caine (who's married to Hannah - played by Mia Farrow) is moaning away over Hannah's sister Lee, played by Barbara Hershey. He is bored with his marriage and deeply in lust with Lee. Lee is in a relationship with painter Max van Sydow. Hannah's other sister is played by Diane Wiest. She's a drug addicted wannabe actress who is constantly borrowing money from Hannah to support her various ideas like to be a writer or to run a catering company. She also once went on a horrible date with Hannah's ex-husband Mickey, played by Woody Allen.

Everything about this film is engaging. The acting, the cinematography, the music, but what makes it such a great movie to me is the script. Every single line is a treasure. Classic Woody Allen. Just look at this passage where Michael Caine is thinking to himself while watching Lee at the Thanksgiving party:

"God, she's beautiful. She's got the prettiest eyes. She looks so sexy in that sweater. I just want to be alone with her and hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her and take care of her. Stop it you idiot, she's your wife's sister. But I can't help it. I'm consumed by her. It's been months now. I dream about her, I - I - I think about her at the office. Oh Lee, what am I gonna do? I hear myself moaning over you and it's disgusting. Before, when she squeezed past me at the doorway and I smelt that perfume on the back of her neck - Jesus, I - I thought I was gonna swoon. Easy! You're a dignified financial adviser. It doesn't look good for you to swoon."

I'm swooning just reading it. I would give 10 inches off my dick if I could write like that.  I get so much pleasure out of watch old Woody Allen movies. He was so great back in the 80's. So great that I nearly forget he later made MELINDA AND MELINDA. [vomits all over keyboard]

If you've never seen HANNAH AND HER SISTERS, I cannot recommend it enough. It has an organic quality. Entirely interdependent, if you know what I mean. I can't put it into words. The important thing is, it breathes. An epiphany of the soul!