THE GREAT TEXAS DYNAMITE CHASE (1976)

[Update 01/12/2024: For 12 years(!!!) I've had a short and simple review up for this movie. But I have recently been threatened with legal action due to my (mostly positive) thoughts about the film. So, that said, I am removing the innocent opinions that came out of my handsome brain and replacing them with a blank (and I hope legal) empty space. Enjoy!]

Texas flag upside down.

SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE III (1990)

The SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE series slammed a car door on its dick with this one. It's the same ol' story: girls have a slumber party, boys crash, creepy things happen, sex is had, driller killer starts killing people, female survivors fight back...but for whatever reason I didn't enjoy this one as much as the previous two. The first one was kinda serious and innocent, the second one was weird and a lot of fun, but this one is boring and cheap-looking. It felt really uninspired.

I'm not sure if the film makers understood what fans of this type of movies really want. We want hot chicks (this is extremely important) in skimpy pajamas, nighties, shorts, whatever doing girlie stuff and partying and getting naked, then some silly boys come over (the stoner dude from Part 2 was hilarious), sexual shenanigans happen (on screen), creepy stuff happens and the killer (who's a total badass like Jason Voorhees) shows up and massacres the living shit out of everybody. Blood and gore and naked tits everywhere. Unfortunately, in SPM3 all we get is some unattractive 30-year-old looking teenagers acting like dorks until the boring as hell driller killer shows up. He's a total pussy but for whatever reason the other victims literally stand there (for fucking minutes!!!!!!) while the guy eventually kills some people. It's goddamn ridiculous.

My advise: watch Part 1 and 2 and just skip 3. It's not horrible, but a week after you watch it you won't remember a damn thing except that it was boring. Skip it.

I'm kinda surprised that the SPM series didn't go any further than this. The story idea is simple and anybody with even a above average imagination could pump these scripts out on a weekly basis. And as long as you make sure to have really attractive girls, a nice amount of T&A, memorable characters and graphic violence the movie would make money. It seems like a cash cow just waiting to be milked.

Part 1 - The Slumber Part Massacre (1982)
Part 2 - Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE II (1987)

The little sister from the original SPM is now a teenager and even though she's haunted by nightmares of the attack, she lives a pretty normal high school life.  She also plays in an all-girl rock band. One weekend the girls have a slumber party and, of course, a couple of boys come over. You got the nerd, the stoner, the beau hunk and the leather pants wearing, drill guitar noodling, dancing, singing, air piano playing, greaser, driller killer psychopath! Whoa! Who invited him?!!!

The majority of the film is just the girls hanging out giggling and partying (the killer doesn't show up to stay until the 51 minute mark), but you won't be bored because SPM2 is so goddamn bizarre that you're probably just going to sit there in shock as your brain fizzles and starts dripping out your ear. In other words: It's awesome!

I don't know if I could watch it over and over again, but for an occasional viewing you can't go wrong with SPM2. It's 80's as fuck, the killer is one of the strangest ever, his weapon is a crazy-looking electric guitar with a drill sticking out the end, the actors look like they're having a blast, synchronized dancing, the one girl is gorgeous, the killer sings and dancing like a fucking idiot, girl-on-girl pillow fight and best of all: it's fun from beginning to end with no slow parts at all.

If you're looking for a serious horror film then go watch INSIDE, because SPM2 is weird as shit and proud of it...or maybe not. I don't know. Maybe they were trying to make a serious movie. If so, that makes it even better cause they failed miserably!

Part 1 - The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Part 3 - Slumber Party Massacre III (1990)

I'm no film historian, but I believe this is the first occurrence of a killer in a Slasher film ever playing the air piano.

I'm no film historian, but I believe this is the first occurrence of a killer in a Slasher film ever doing a butt spin.

I'm no film historian, but I believe this is the first occurrence of a killer in a Slasher film ever doing The Worm.

I'm no film historian, but I believe this is the first occurrence of a killer in a Slasher film ever doing the splits.

I'm no film historian, but I believe this is the first occurrence of a killer in a Slasher film ever sliding down a banister while flapping his arms.

I have never been that excited about anything...ever!

Heidi Kozak was drinking a Slice in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII also!