THE CRAZIES (2010)

Remaking and updating George Romero's original 1973 snoozefest is a great idea. Unfortunately, this version is barely any better than the original.

Small town sheriff (Timothy Olyphant) is enjoying the simple small town life when one afternoon at a high school baseball game a dude with a shotgun and a blank stare walks onto the field.  There's a standoff and the sheriff is forced to get his blast on. Autopsy reports show nothing unusual, but then other bizarre events happen and Olyphant is going to get to the bottom of it no matter how many times we've already seen this scenario before.

The first few minutes were actually entertaining with a little suspense build-up, but then, by the 15 minute mark the story had already shot it's wad and dies a slow, formulaic death. Worth a watch if you're interested, but it adds nothing to the horror genre that we haven't already seen before. Almost zero character development, zero tits, a little blood, mild violence, no gore, zero scares, but still somewhat entertaining. THE CRAZIES is an alright time-waster if you're extremely bored.

THE CRAZIES drinking game: every time the sheriff and his wife split up and every time the deputy saves somebody.

Original - The Crazies (1973)

SCAVENGER HUNT (1979)

A wealthy game inventor, Vincent Price, croaks while playing a frog game and leaves his entire $200 million estate to the person (or persons) who can collect the most points from a list of Scavenger Hunt items he left in his will. The potential beneficiaries (family, servants and a taxi driver) have until 5pm this afternoon to gather the items. Chaos ensues.

As far as IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD knockoffs go, SCAVENGER HUNT is an alright film. You’re not gonna soil your Ewok Underoos with piss from laughing so hard, but you might get a chuckle or two. The most notable thing about the film (thanks to the passage of time) is the cast. From Vincent Price and Arnold Schwarzenegger to Ruth Gordon and Scatman Crothers…this movie has a great cast! I was most impressed by the then 30 year-old Richard Masur playing the spoiled and mentally unwell son of Cloris Leachman. He was a trip. (It’d be a lot of fun to sit down and really analyze the entire cast of this film. Did you know that Carol Wayne, who played Vincent Price’s nurse, died just a few years later of suspicious causes at the age of 42?)

Simple story, impressive cast, interesting Southern California filming locations, quick pace, unfunny but not painfully unfunny humor, an ancient Jack in the Box, numerous vintage cars. Not the funniest movie ever (or even funny at all), but it has a certain charm to it. Worth watching for fans of 1970’s comedies.