COWBOYS & ALIENS (2011)

Hollywood cowboys vs. Hollywood aliens.

Cowboy Daniel Craig wakes up in the middle of nowhere. He has amnesia and some metal contraption clamped on his left wrist. Before he can even get his bearings, three scruffy looking dudes (who probably smell like poo-poo) ride up and start talking shit. Craig beats the crap out of them...so obviously, he knows how to fight. He then travels to the nearest town where it becomes apparent that he is a wanted criminal. After some more fighting, he's arrested and then while being loaded up into the paddy wagon...aliens attack!  During the attack the metal device on Craig's arm activates and he uses it to shoot down one of the alien vehicles. The next morning, Craig joins a posse and they head off in search of the aliens who kidnapped some people during the attack.

With a title like COWBOYS & ALIENS, I was expecting the film to be a little campy, like TREMORS, but instead C&A comes across like it almost wanted to be serious...I think. What do I know? But with the torture scene, the deaths, the alien experiments, the ominous lighting and the semi-gritty tone, I think the film was going for a serious mood. Even worse than the mixed tone signals is the slow pace. Jesus Christ, I was damn near going into a coma waiting for something to happen and then when it did...it was still boring!!! And who came up wit the idea of gold rustling, shell-less turtle aliens? What the fuck? Ahhhh, fuck it. Watch the movie if you want, it's not horrible, just completely lacking in imagination and cleverness. I could have written a better script than this soulless snoozer without even breaking a sweat.  It did have a great cast though.  If you need me I'll be in my room watching TREMORS and THE LAST STARFIGHTER.

One interesting thing the filmmakers could have done, but I guess it wasn't legally possible, was have Harrison Ford's character lose an alien artifact and then have Indiana Jones find it in the next Indy movie.

MYSTERIOUS SKIN (2004)

Sadly, I've never read the novel this film is based on, but I can't see how it can be anything short of a masterpiece because this film is a masterpiece.

Opening with the slow-motion shot of Fruit Loops falling on the face of a smiling boy, we're next introduced to Brian, a teenager who recounts how as a small boy he lost several hours of his life due to being kidnapped by aliens at a baseball game and was then found later bleeding in a closet of his house. Now as a teenager he's fascinated by aliens. Next is Neil, he's the same age as Brian but a world apart as far as personalities go. He tells us how, at age 8, he used to jack off watching his mother with her various boyfriends and lust over the men in her Playboy magazines. Then he met Coach. Coach was the handsome coach of the boy's baseball team and he had a mustache that was so manly and awesome that it could tame an army of a thousand purring kittens. At first sight, Neil was in love with him. Soon after he allowed himself to be seduced by Coach. Then came Brian.

From the very beginning of the film you know what happened, but the script and the acting by everybody (especially by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Chase Ellison) is so strong that even after multiple viewings I still find myself almost hypnotized by the screen. Neil is now a male prostitute and secure in his homosexuality and molestation as a child. He even has pictures and recordings of the events. Brian though is living in a complete dream world and he's broken. He cannot function in reality. Obsessing endlessly over aliens, he thinks more and more about the events leading up to the abduction when he suddenly remembers there was another boy there, but he can't remember who he was. He decides to find out this boy was.

MYSTERIOUS SKIN isn't for everybody's tastes. It's vile at moments and perverse, but how can it not be with such a sickening subject matter? In fact, I wish it had gone even further. That aside, everything about this film is fantastic. The script, the acting, the tone, pace, cinematography, direction. Even days after my latest viewing I still find myself thinking about it and how brilliantly the story was told. MYSTERIOUS SKIN could almost be compared to RASHOMON in it's differing accounts of a shared event. Honestly, I cannot recommend it enough.

Double feature it with SHAME.