CRITTERS 2 (1988)

[Update 09/03/2024: Nedo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

Everybody's favorite GREMLINS ripoffs are back and this time they ain't satisfied with just tearing up a farmhouse, hell no, this time they're gonna rip apart the entire fucking town of Grover's Bend! (Maybe it's just me, but doesn't the name Grover's Bend bring to mind the name Tarker's Mills from SILVER BULLET?)

Anyway, the return of the Krites (via some old, leftover eggs) just happens to coincide with the return of Brad Brown, who was the young hero of the first film. Right from the beginning, the Critters start attacking and eating everything in sight. At first, people don't realize what's going on, but once a dude in a Easter Bunny suit gets gobbled up in front of the entire church congregation the citizens of Grover's Bend realize things are fuuuuucked. Luckily for them, the bounty hunters from the first film have been alerted of the Krite breakout and return for some asskicking of their own.

The budget looks to be lower than the original film, but the script is fast-paced and action-packed enough to keep fans of the original happy even despite the return of the insultingly stupid Charlie character. I hate that motherfucker.  I would love nothing more than to watch a Krite to rip his goddamn dick off.  Slowly.

If you enjoyed the first film, then you should check this one out. It's worth a watch. If you didn't like the original, then you're probably a card-carrying member of the No Fun Club and I'm not sure what you're even doing on Happyotter. Go be boring somewhere else.

Bounty hunter tits.

Part 1 - Critters (1986)
Part 3 - Critters 3 (1991)
Part 4 - Critters 4 (1992)

DAGON (2001)

A dude, his girlfriend and another couple are traveling around on a sail boat. Off the coast of a remote fishing village, they run into a rock and are forced to go ashore. Once there, they discover the inhabitants of the village are a bunch of creepy fish-people that want nothing more than to skin them alive and sacrifice them to their fish god Dagon.

I remember watching DAGON when it first came out in 2001 and liking it quite a bit. I watched it again last night with some friends for this review and we all enjoyed it, but it was much cheaper looking than I remembered and the main character was much dumber than I remembered. Still it's a good film and one of the better based on a H. P. Lovecraft story. This time "The Shadow Over Innsmouth".

That's really about all there is to say. Mild blood and gore, creepy fish people with gills and webbed fingers, very brief nudity, dated as fuck CGI, tentacles, dude getting skinned alive. Overall, it's a good watch, but it's just not grim or oppressive enough to be a successful horror movie. I would be extremely interested to see what a better director could do with this story, based on a much darker script.

Would be an interesting double feature with SOCIETY.