Thursday, April 12, 2012

CRITTERS 4 (1992)

For a low budget sci-fi film CRITTERS 4 (while not really original) isn't too horrible, but as a CRITTERS sequel it's pretty goddamn lame because until the last act of the film there's hardly any Krite action and even then it's weak.

In 1992 that stupid ass motherfucker Charlie (yes he's still around stinking up the entire franchise) gets himself locked in a spaceship along with two Krite eggs and put into some kind of hibernation. Fast-forward 53 years and a salvage ship comes across Charlie's ship just floating around in space. The crew contacts the owners of the ship and are instructed to report to a nearby station to collect their reward. Once there they crew discovers the station has been abandoned. Even worse the two Krites escape and are now on the loose.

That set up took nearly 40 minutes of screen time, but it's not too bad since it was kinda entertaining but unfortunately instead of being claustrophobic and tense like ALIEN the remainder of CRITTERS 4 is just a long snoozefest. The two Krites are about as scary as a Muppet, the cheap sets get really old really quick, the story doesn't go anywhere, the action is pathetic and having Charlie as a main character is a fucking personal insult to every single person who paid to see this film.

If you want to complete the CRITTERS series then you have no choice but to watch C4, but honestly everybody else should just stay away. It's not horrible, but it's not good either. There's so many better things you could be doing with your life than watching CRITTERS 4. Skip it.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

What computers in the year 2045 will look like.