THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING (1966)

Capitalizing on the Cold War paranoid of the time, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING tells the story of a Soviet sub that accidentally runs aground while the captain was innocently sightseeing along the coast of a small New England island.  Stuck like Chuck, the captain sends 9 sailors onshore to get a boat big enough to pull the sub off the sandbar.  Almost immediately they're spotted and their presence understandably causes quite a ruckus.

Seeing as TRACTRAC was written by the same guy who wrote IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD just a few years earlier and even stars a few of the same people, I mistakenly thought that it was going to be the same over-the-top insanity that Mad World was, but no.  This movie was dead in the water right from the very beginning.  The jokes are all tired and flat, the ending is completely unbelievable, Jonathan Winters is wasted, Brian Keith has nothing to work with, none of the Russians have any character and the townsfolk are all morons.  Unfunny morons that clutter up the screen running around like chickens with their dicks cut off.  And that kid at the church!  Oh my god, the excessive sentimentality of that scene made me wanna slam my dick in a car door.  Preferably an orange 1986 Ford Escort.

According to the DVD special features, this film caused quite a stir when it came out (it was the #8 box office draw for 1966 and received four Academy Award nominations, including one for Best Picture!!!), but I honestly have a hard time seeing what the excitement was about.  Outside of enjoying seeing the familiar faces, I say skip it.

If you need me I'll be in my room watching DR. STRANGELOVE.

THE PIANO TEACHER (2001)

Where to even begin with THE PIANO TEACHER?  There's so many things going on that I think my one viewing doesn't do it justice.  The best advice I can give to you on THE PIANO TEACHER, if you haven't seen it and you intend to, is to just watch it.  Don't read any synopsis or reviews (even this one), just watch it.

Erika Kohut is a piano teacher who lives what outwardly appears to be a very normal life - she has a job teaching piano at a highly prestigious music conservatory and lives alone with her elderly mother - but upon closer inspection...well.  Early on she mentions of nineteenth century composer Robert Schumann: "He knows he's losing his mind. It torments him but he clings on, one last time. It's being aware of what it means to lose oneself before being completely abandoned."  I'm not a hundred percent convinced that Erika is losing her mind and feels it going, but she definitely does not have control of her repressed sexual desires.  Our first clue, besides the long creepy stares at the teenage Walter is when she sneaks off to a porn shop, goes into a private booth and holds old used cumrags to her nose as she watches deepthroat videos.  From there on it only gets weirder...much weirder.

On the one hand I felt sorry for Erika because it almost seems that if she had a mature and understanding sexual partner all of her problems would be solved, but then when she pulls out the broken glass and large knife I started to doubt my initial opinion.

Whatever the real story with Erika is, THE PIANO TEACHER is a wildly fascinating film that I'll be thinking about for quite awhile.  I might even read the novel to get a more in-depth view.  That said the movie itself is great and Isabelle Huppert turns in a staggeringly brave performance.  Beautiful photography, good pace, strong direction and that story!  Holy fook.  Highly recommended.  I wouldn't be opposed to somebody making an even more intense/perverse remake.

ROAD HOUSE (1948)

Richard Widmark is the owner of a popular road house that features a bar, a bunch of bowling lanes, a hang out area and a live piano singer.  After recruiting a sultry singer (Ida Lupino) from out of town, he starts to fall for her.  Unfortunately she falls for the road house's manager (Cornel Wilde).  Things get a little heated and next thing you know Widmark has framed Wilde for stealing from the payroll and then in a completely ludicrous, or should I say...Seinfeldish, (Remember the butler storyline?) turn of events Wilde has his 2 - 10 years prison sentence suspended under the condition that he's put on probation in the care of Widmark for 2 years!!!  What kind of wacky shit is that?!  Not only did he get framed, but now his punishment is to be the perpetrator's slave for two years?!!  As you can guess, Wilde doesn't take too well to being Widmark's slave.  Lupino isn't too happy about it either, so things get a little shooty.

From a filmmaking standpoint ROAD HOUSE is fine.  It looks good, the sets look alive and the acting is way better than that weak script deserves.  It's nice to see Lupino in a strong role and Widmark is always great when he's sleazy, but couldn't maybe he have blackmailed Wilde and Lupino instead of having to stretch the limits of believably by Wilde be his court appointed slave?

Interesting film with good acting, but I wish the story had made more sense.  Worth a watch for classic movie fans.