Monday, July 20, 2009

NIGHT SCHOOL (1981)

Women attending (or working near) Wendell College in Boston have been turning up with their heads chopped off.  The cops get involved and a young detective is determined to solve the case.  And since he only has like four suspects I'm pretty sure he can figure it out.  A small smattering of blood, zero gore, lightweight nudity, medium pace, soft focus that gives everything a weird fuzzy look, 80's fashions, Boston locations, okay acting, zero scares.

Worth checking out for slasher completists, but it's more of a police murder-mystery than a slasher film. Still kinda interesting in a laid back, made-for-TV looking kind of way...even though it wasn't made for TV.  From what I can tell, NIGHT SCHOOL actually had a short theatrical run back in 1981.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

THE BIG BUS (1976)

THE BIG BUS fails to deliver the big laughs...you see how lame that joke was? Well, that's about the caliber of nearly every joke and sight gag in this movie. I don't want to be too rough and say the movie sucked, because it didn't.  It was just weak.

The premise is fine (a gigantic bus has all kinds of problems on it's maiden non-stop cross-country trip), but the jokes are nearly all misses: A guy in a bar fight breaks a paperboard milk carton in half and uses it as a weapon; there's an on-board bowling alley and when the bus goes too fast the bowling ball and the pins slide backwards down the lane; once the bus goes over 90mph, there's no more wind resistance (for whatever reason), so Ned Beatty yells "He's breaking wind at 90!"  Yeah, those are some real knee slappers right there.

Like I said, it's not a bad film and I'm sure the film's makers had their hearts in the right place, but unfortunately they only had about 5 minutes worth of funny jokes for a 88 minute movie. On the positive side: I always enjoy seeing Ruth Gordon.

I'm curious what happened to the bus after filming was over?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

EASY LIVING (1937)

[Update 03/08/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

A wealthy New York City banker becomes enraged when he finds out that his wife spend $58,000 on a fur coat without telling him. He throws the jacket off the roof of their high rise. Down, down, down it goes until it lands on Jean Arthur's head and smashes the feather on her hat. She confronts the banker and he apologizes.  He tells her she can have the coat and then he innocently takes her to a hat store to get her a new hat. Naturally, when people see them together they suspect that she's his mistress and that's when the story goes crazy! Mass confusion, mistaken identities, dogs jumping all over the joint, people falling down in a giant bathtub, a piggy bank getting murdered, phone cords tangled up, a riot scene in an Automat that had me laughing so hard I had to rewatch it three times, a police chase and much more.

If you're not opposed to older movies and you like comedies then you should check this one out. I really enjoyed it.

Monday, July 13, 2009

CALVAIRE (2004)

[Update 03/08/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

Some guy takes a wrong turn in the woods and gets pumped in the butt. As exciting as that sounds...it's not. Mainly due to the fact that there's way too much time wasted watching this idiot walking around completely oblivious to the signs his butthole is in imminent danger. Seeing some hillibillies gangbanging a calf would have been more than enough to make me get the hell out of there...I'd rather risk starving to death in the woods than to let those inbreds near my hole, but no not this guy. Strange shit happens and he just keeps hanging around until finally they beat him up, shave his head, crucify him and buttsecks the hell out of his ripe hole.

Not really worth watching, but if you do feel free to skip the first 45 minutes.

JAPANESE GIRLS AT THE HARBOR (1933)

[Update 03/08/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

Two teenage school girls are best frinds until one gets involved with a wannabe gangster. He leads her on while, at the same time, he's messing around with another older woman, so the school girl gets mad and attacks the woman. Shunned by the community she is run out of town. Time passes and now the school girl is a prostitute.  Her once best friend is now married to the wannabe gangster guy who has settled down. Tons of thick melodrama follow. Shimizu is very good with the camera, but the story just cannot hold up even for 72 minutes. You could say "Hey, it's fuckin' 1933. Give this guy a break!" but in 1933 Yasujiro Ozu was already knocking out the good stuff like A STORY OF FLOATING WEEDS.