MARTYRS (2008)

[Update 01/30/16: not the biggest fan of this review.  Will try to update it one day.  New screenshots also.]

Borrowing portions of films like HIGH TENSION, HOSTEL, HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER 2, ROSEMARY'S BABY and about 14,000 death metal album covers MARTYRS opens with a young lady escaping from a torture dungeon. Placed in an orphanage, she befriends another girl, Anna, but is haunted by the visions of tortured woman with a metal clamp bolted over her eyes. Stuff happens and years later Anna ends up being held captive by the same perverts that originally kidnapped the original chick. The group believes in some kind of bullshit transcendental wisdom through systematic torture. It's all very silly. So anyway, the remainder of the film is Anna being tortured nonstop. The first 15 minutes was mysterious, but after that the story just falls apart. Honestly, I just say skip it altogether.

On a positive note, the special effects were impressive.  Unfortunately, the director decided to film the action scenes in that extreme close-up/ jiggly camera way (think THE BOURNE IDENTITY movies) so at moments it's hard to tell what the fuck is even going on.

If you dig films like this, then you'll probably bust a nut for the AUGUST UNDERGROUND'S MORDUM, the Guinea Pig series or even better yet try out an actual good movie about torture: Pasolini's SALO, OR THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM.

Remake - Martyrs (2015)

INSIDE (2007)

Plain and simple: INSIDE is one of the best horror movies since the original TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE. Reading anything else about it would just ruin it for you, so just take my word for it and if you like horror movies...watch it.

UNINVITED (1988)

So you got this cat and somehow these genetic scientists have messed with it to the point that it now has a monster living inside of it and whenever the cat is threaten or pissed off, the monster jumps out of the cat's mouth, whips everybody's ass and then crawls back into the cat. What the cat thinks about of this I don't know, but it doesn't seem too happy. Anyway, the cat escapes from the lab and after killing a few people, it ends up on a dock where a slut finds it and takes it aboard a yacht. The boat gets out on the ocean and promptly ends up way off course. Right about then the cat says "Meow, I've had enough of this shit, see!" starts biting every motherfucker it can get its paws on.  The End.

Also, for some odd reason, the back cover to the VHS gives away the entire movie!