RAW DEAL (1986)

[Update 04/19/2020: I really need to watch this movie again and fix this review. It's shit.]

Between COMMANDO and PREDATOR Arnold starred in RAW DEAL. It's not as good as either of those two films, but it's still an enjoyable 106 minutes filled with lots of action, punching, cross-dressing and cake throwing.

Arnold was kicked out of the FBI for beating up a suspect, so for the last few years he's been a small town sheriff. But now he's getting a second chance. All he has to do is infiltrate a mafia gang and take them down from the inside. Sounds easy enough.

RAW DEAL is a good movie thanks to the fast pace and Arnold's screen presence, but I think the reason this film has kinda fallen in the cracks is the direction is lackluster and the script is too confusing. Honestly, after awhile I didn't even care what was happening...I just wanted the next action scene and I was in luck because this movie is pretty much all action scenes.  Just not very memorable action scenes.

Worth a rent for sure, but I can't see myself wanting to watch it again for a few years unlike COMMANDO which I've seen dozens of times.

Window breaks before guy hits it.

BROTHER'S KEEPER (1992)

[Update 10/03/2021: Deleted the review portion. Didn't care for it. Will fix when I have the time.]

EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP (2010)

[Update 02/27/2022: Need rewatch this film and redo this review completely. Just deleted the old shitty screenshots. Will fix when I can.]

Part documentary/part joke (I have no proof of anything I'm saying) EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP is the story of a quirky clothing shop owner, Thierry, who video tapes everything in his life and by accident he gets involved with a few street graffiti artists and begins documenting their work or is it their vandalisms? Eventually he graduates to helping them. During this time the reputation of a highly secretive guy named Banksy starts to grow and he soon becomes the most famous street artist of all time. Thierry eventually meets him, they become friends and Banksy allows Thierry to tape him at work.

There's quite a bit more to the story than just that, but I'm not going to give it all away. I liked this movie and was completely entertained the entire time, but it never felt like a real documentary. I felt that, even though there were actual events unfolding onscreen, a lot of the story was a joke. Maybe I'm wrong, but I really don't care enough to even research it.

When I sat down to watch this movie I wanted to learn about Banksy.  The story of his life, his influences, his philosophy, his goals, what he thought about Orwell's 1984, did he read Answer Me! growing up, but it didn't answer any of those questions. Instead the movie is like 40% Banksy and 60% Thierry. And that was a mistake, cause Banksy is the main attraction to the movie. It damn sure isn't Thierry! The artwork he produced at the end of the movie was fucking horrendous, but I think that was the point. Or was it?  I have no clue.

ZOMBIE 4: AFTER DEATH (1988)

This is a complete guess at the story since I never fully figured it out: a bunch of people run around while being chased by zombies. The End. I should also note that the zombies actually looked more like burnt ninjas than actual zombies because for some reason all of the zombies wore full body black clothing and jumped around nonstop like grasshoppers. The death scenes were laughable, the special effects were terrible, zero nudity, zero gore, lots and lots of vomiting, a gay porn star as the main actor, slow walking zombies, gun shooting zombies, running like a scalded ass ape zombies, talking zombies, jumping zombies. Tons of laughs, but zero scares. My advice is to avoid this funny turd, but if you insist on seeing it then just rent it.

Why would anybody ever need that many pockets on a vest? What could you possibly put in there?

THE BURROWERS (2008)

[Update 03/02/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

I'll be damned. This movie was actually alright. When I rented it, I figured it would individually suck every dick this side of the Mississippi, but I was wrong.

The Dakota Territories, 1879. Borrowing heavily from THE SEARCHERS a girl is kidnapped in the dead of night from her frontier home. The young man who's been courtin' her rounds up a posse and they go off in search of the Indians who took her...except it wasn't Indians, it was some gross underground humanoid creatures that when it attack it paralyzes you with some puss, then buries you alive (except for your face) and you slowly get all gooey and then they return and eat you alive.

The movie is not great, by any stretch of the imagination, just above average, but the thing that really makes this film stand out above 99% of modern horror movies is (1) the director has talent and (2) the actors can actually act...not just run around in circles screaming like fucking idiots. If you expect a nonstop bloodbath you're going to be disappointed, there's a lot of build-up, but if you like a little story along with your monster attacks then this is definitely a good watch.