Saturday, January 16, 2010


I remember back when I was a professional assassin I executed thousands, maybe millions, of people but never once did I fill a waterbed with gasoline and shoot a red hot dart into it. Come to think of it, I never converted an egg beater into a penis-grinding-off machine either. Goddamn it Ilsa, you win again!!!

ILSA, SHE WOLF OF THE SS is of course the best of the Ilsa series and TIGRESS OF SIBERIA is my second favorite. The other two weren't as imaginative. This time around the film opens at a Siberian prison camp in 1953. Ilsa is the boss and during the day she tortures/kills the prisoners in horrible ways (electrocution, ice water, man-eating tiger, chainsaw arm wrestling, head-crushing with huge hammer, etc.) then at night she had the guards fight over her and the two winners get to fuck her and her fat tits. The losers are then pretty much raped by the unattractive female guards.

When Stalin is killed, the guards burn the camp (with all the prisoners locked inside) and split. Jump forward to Canada in 1977 and Ilsa is running a whorehouse. The women are held captive with the thanks of Ilsa brainwashing techniques. Then one day, the one prisoner who escaped the Siberian torture camp alive walks in the door of Ilsa's whorehouse. Ilsa kidnaps him and starts torturing him again. With the help of her high-tech fear monitoring computer she discovers that his biggest fear is having Ilsa bite his dick off...Yikes! You'll just have to see for yourself what happens next.

NSFW posters

Part 1 - Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS (1975)
Part 2 - Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks (1976)
Part 4 - Wanda, the Wicked Warden (1977)