Sunday, July 25, 2010

THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW (1983)

I reviewed the remake a few days ago and it was pretty stinky, but now that I've rewatched the original I think the remake was actually a better movie. Yea, it was shitty, but there was more action, a few laughs and a three of the girls were mildly attractive unlike every single one of the girls in this movie. They're all dogs! Barf!!!

A group of graduating seniors (who all look to be in their early 40's) are having one last big party, but when the 300-year-old house mother finds out she gets pissed and destroys one of the girl's waterbed. The girls retaliate by pulling a prank that accidentally kills the house mother. Unknown to them her severely retarded fully-grown son who lives in the attic saw the whole thing. Now he goes on a murder spree killing all the sorority sisters. Good for him.

A few tits (but they look horrible), zero gore, zero original kills, zero wet t-shirt contests, a stupid story that's way too complicated, the Final Girl is ugly and annoying, the killer dresses like a harlequin. Skip this movie and skip the remake also.