Monday, May 9, 2011

TROG (1970)

Some cave explorers go crawling around a cave and find a live caveman! Naturally, he whips the shit out of them and the two survivors take shelter at a local research center. Scientist Joan Crawford hears about this creature and with her handy "hypno-gun" captures the beast and takes him back to her lab to teach him different things like how to wind up a toy, how to throw a ball and the colour "Blue. Blue. Blue.", but not "Red." because red makes Trog angry! Grrrrrrrrr. Another thing that makes Trog angry is the other scientist who's jealous of Crawford and sets out to sabotage the entire thing.  Part of his plan is to piss off Trog really bad then let him go (note to self: make sure I'm in a safe position before releasing a pissed off caveman). Once loose Trog tears up all kinds of stuff and even kidnaps a child.

As bad as TROG is, it's not nearly as bad I had expected. Yea, it's cheesy, the story is rubbish, the budget is low and the Trog outfit looks like crap (it's actually a leftover from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY), but Joan Crawford really gives her all for this shitty movie and I can't badmouth that.

Outside of Joan, I can't think of any reason to watch this movie. If you're a horror fan looking for some caveman rampage carnage you're going to walk away pissed and if you're a bad movie fan looking for a movie to laugh at you'll find yourself straining to find stuff to even make fun of. My suggestion is unless you're a Joan fan then just skip it altogether.