Monday, September 1, 2014


[This review is for the theatrical version.  113 minutes.]

Donnie's got some problems.  The biggest is that the world will end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds and...well, you know what, just watch it.  I dislike reviewing movies like this because anything I say might ruin it.  All you need to know is you're going to have to pay attention for this one.  Close attention.  No fucking around on your phone or kissing your girlfriend or playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos.  Pay attention!   I'll be shocked and disappointed if you figured it out in one viewing.  Shocked because "goddamn, u smart!" and disappointed because you might decide against watching it a second time.  And one of the biggest joys of DONNIE DARKO is watching it again and again.  I think I've discovered about everything there is to discover, but I still love revisiting it every once and awhile simply because I enjoy the story and the characters so much.  And the dialogue!  I don't know if writer/director Richard Kelly won any awards for this script or not, but he fucking deserved to.  I wish he'd write a novelization, honestly.

Hard to decipher story that's incredibly rewarding when you do, memorable characters that you wish you knew in real life, a stupid bunny suit, beautiful photography, about 10 billion quotable lines, Smurf gang bang, cellar door, beer and pussy, maybe the coolest parents of all time, dedication to Sparkle Motion, Patrick Swayze's best performance(?), the fucking Antichrist, powerful musical moments that'll make you feel all wonky britches inside, non-distracting special effects, Beth Grant as a flibbertigibbet, a stupid man suit and a cast/crew that every single member should be proud of themselves.  Mary McDonnell should have walked home with an Oscar.

Do me a favor.  If you haven't already seen it before, don't look up anything about the story.  Just watch it.  Twice.  If you need me I'll be in the locker room cleaning up baby mice.  Awww!