Tuesday, January 12, 2016

DEAD OR ALIVE 2: BIRDS (2000)

Soooo...sleepy!!!  I was wide awake when I started this film and damn near dead by the time it finally (mercifully) ended.

Two childhood friends, who were raised in the same orphanage but later lost contact with each other, just happen to run into each other...during a yakuza gang leader assassination!!!  The one guy is a hit man who is staring down the scope of his rifle at his target when suddenly out of nowhere one of the bosses' bodyguards goes nuts and starts killing everybody.  The one guy knows that his long lost friend will go hideout back at their small island hometown so he goes there himself.  They reunite and have all kinds of fun and emotional music plays while the rain falls down in slow motion.  Eventually they put on a play for the local children which features a female turtle duck with a detachable penis and robot arm having sex with a bumblebee.  I'm serious.  After the success of the children's play performance they decide that they work so well together that they should go into business assassinating people and donating the proceeds to charity.

I love Takashi Miike, but goddamn this film was just not my bag.  Who knows, maybe you'll like it more than I did.  There were a few interesting moments, good performances (including a small appearance by Shinya Tsukamoto, who I always enjoy) and it looks great, but man that story is boring and goofy as fuck.  Even the necrophilia scene and the dude with the 40 pound cock couldn't liven things up.  Skip it.

Part 1 - Dead or Alive
Part 3 - Dead or Alive: Final