Tuesday, January 12, 2016

DEAD OR ALIVE: FINAL (2002)

I'm dead.  This movie killed me with it's boredom.  This is my ghost talking now.  Luckily though the DEAD OR ALIVE series is all about reincarnation, so hopefully I'll come back as a better person.

Set in 2346 (which looks conspicuously like 2001), the mayor of Yokohama likes gay sex...a lot.  So much so that he's made birth control mandatory and completely controls the population, food and supplies based on his stiff homosexual ideology.  There's also human replicants that look exactly like humans.  One such battle droid replicant (Sho Aikawa) teams up with a group of rebels that are looking to escape the city.  Stuff happens and a cop (Riki Takeuchi) is ordered by the evil mayor to locate the rogue replicant.  Yawn.

As far as BLADE RUNNER replicants go, DEAD OR ALIVE: FINAL is about the lamest I've ever seen.  Even the giant flying penis robot didn't help things...and that's a sad sentence to write because when the day cums that a giant flying penis robot doesn't improve your story, you know you're in trouble!

Flaccid story, uninspired camerawork, weak direction, torturous pace, limp action scenes, goofy as fook ending that I'm only guessing is somehow connected to the opening scene of the original DEAD OR ALIVE since they both feature a dude doing another younger dude up against a wall.  I don't know what this film was going for, but I wish I hadn't wasted my time watching it.  Skip it with a vengeance and never look back.

Part 1 - Dead or Alive  
Part 2 - Dead or Alive 2: Birds