Monday, July 11, 2011

GROPER TRAIN: SEARCH FOR THE BLACK PEARL (1984)

In World War II, a soldier steals a rare giant black pearl ring off of a corpse.  He later becomes a famous baseball player.  On his death bed, in 1984, he's fucking his younger girlfriend and when she asks him the location of the pearl, he says "Pussy print." and then dies.  What does "pussy print" mean?  Could it be a reference to an un-cut version of CITIZEN KANE?  No, the old man had a hobby of painting women's pussies with ink and then pressing a piece of paper against their pussy.  Sounds like a normal enough hobby.  The pussy print in question (hanging on his bedroom wall) belongs to his niece (what the hell?), so the girlfriend and the old man's adult son hire a detective to locate the missing niece.  Now a normal detective would probably start searching through public records and boring stuff like that, since he has a picture of the woman and her name, but no, instead this weirdo dresses up like a bug exterminator and hangs out on public transportation trains and collects pussy prints of random women!  It doesn't make any since at all.

As far as mystery's go this one's shit and as far as erotic movies go...it's pretty shitty as well. The story is passable (I guess), but there's no laughs, the sex scenes are rubbish, and the small amount of nudity there is is terrible.  I didn't even care enough to take screenshots.

I wanted to like this film, but, even at 66 minutes, it was a chore to get through.  One strange thing I discovered while reading about this film, is: there's an entire series of these Groper Train movies!!!  I'm sure that'd be a fascination things to research, but for now, I really don't care.