"This semen looks funny."The story is about the crew of an offshore drilling platform versus a monster. There's only like 10 workers, I would imagine it takes much more to keep one of those things going. But what the fuck do I know. When the film opens, they don't know about the monster so they have free time to do shit like cooking out and motorcycle racing. Finally, the monster shows up and it looks like a giant mutated seal with tentacles. Later on when it gets burned it looks like a mutated buffalo wing! Also, it roars nonstop. It could have killed these losers a dozen times over if it would've quit roaring every five seconds. So, for the remainder of the movie it roars its way around the platform nonstop.
The story goes nowhere, there was so much CG bullshit going on they might as well just made the movie animated, sensitive music, terrible acting, crappy rock music, slow motion sensitive scenes, silly looking monster, zero nudity, zero gore, zero blood, zero suspense, zero fucks given about making a good movie. It does make a fun watch with friends, so it has that going for it.
If you need me I'll be in my room watching THE ABYSS.
I thought you needed eye protection while welding?
