From the cinematographer of SCHINDLER'S LIST and SAVING PRIVATE RYAN comes the
preposterous story of a young rapper, Johnny Van Owen (Vanilla Ice), who's
riding with his crew through a small town when suddenly his homeboi's bike
starts trippin'. Forced to stay in this two-bit town until the whip is
fixed, Mr. Vanilla fills his time by flirting with the only attractive girl in
town, Kathy...whom Vanilla calls "Kat" because he is clever. Added to this
already exciting drama (bike getting repaired, Vanilla courting Kat) is the
nail-biting news that Kat's father (Michael Gross) is actually in the Witness
Protection Program and now the people he's hiding from have found him!
Will lil' 'nilla be able to save the day and still have time to jump his
motorcycle over a fence, dance randomly, randomly rap, drive his motorcycle
through the wall of a house, ride a horse backwards, wear sunglasses at
night and go across the street to, uh, schling a schlong? Probably.
Based on the film's (current 6/2015) IMDb score of 2.8/10 and all of the snide
comments you see online about this film, you would think that it's an
incompetent turd of a movie, but it's actually entertaining. The story is
straight forward, the photography by longtime Spielberg collaborator Janusz
Kamiński is impressive, the music numbers are worked seamless into the
story and not forced, the supporting characters are all memorable, interesting
set designs and the acting by the whole cast (yes, even Mr. Ice) are all
perfectly fine. Honestly, I enjoyed Ice's playful manner and goofy lines
like "
...I'm just cooling." and "
Then let's g-o."
Recommended for people who don't take life 2 seriously and/or fans of cheesy
90's cinema. If I had the financial means, I would gladly finance COOL AS
ICE 2: STILL, UH, SCHLIN' DAT SCHLONG with absolutely no regard to if it made money
or not. I'm also curious as to why the song "Ice Ice Baby" was not used?
