Tuesday, June 16, 2015

MOONRAKER (1979)

I don't know how much further I can go with this James Bond stuff.  I think I need a break.

In this installment, Bond is sent to investigate after a super villain who has to have spent trillions of dollars building a gigantic, secret(!!!) space station above the Earth (remember: this is in 1979!) in order to fill it with a master race of humans, kill all of the humans on Earth with a poisonous gas and then repopulate the planet with his perfect human followers.  Why space?  Even if you're going to have a master race cult and kill the entire population of the Earth wouldn't it just be easier to build a secret lair in a cave under a mountain?  I mean the whole reason Bond even got put on the case to begin with was because somebody was carjacking space shuttles.

Ludicrous story aside I actually kind of liked the film.  Roger Moore was as playful as always, quick pace, some pretty girls, a motorized gondola that turns into a car, a cable car fight scene, skydiving, goofy gadgets, beautiful locations, forgettable villain (who looks like a taller version of Tyrion Lannister...the HBO version), stupid one-liners and best of all: Jaws is back!  I like Jaws because he is just so inefficient!  I mean, he's so awkward looking that he can't go around without being seen from a mile away and his only real weapon is his teeth!  Why doesn't Bond just shoot and kill the dude?  They send Jaws out over and over and over to kill Bond and he never even comes close!  Instead he destroys everything and fails miserably.  It's ridiculous and wonderful.  They should have a Bond spin-off called Bond vs. Jaws where it's just Bond and Jaws fighting for two hours non-stop! 

 If you need me, I'll be in my room watching LE MAGNIFIQUE.

Two and a half thunderballs out of five.

Part 1 - Dr. No (1962)
Part 2 - From Russia With Love (1963)
Part 3 - Goldfinger (1964)
Part 4 - Thunderball (1965)
Part 5 - You Only Live Twice (1967)
Part 6 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Part 7 - Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Part 8 - Live and Let Die (1973)
Part 9 - The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Part 10 - The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
Part 12 - For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Part 13 - Octopussy (1983)
Part 14 - A View to a Kill (1985)
Part 15 - The Living Daylights (1987)
Part 16 - License to Kill (1989)
Part 17 - GoldenEye (1995)
Part 18 - Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Part 19 - The World Is Not Enough (1999)
Part 20 - Die Another Day (2002)
Part 21 - Casino Royale (2006)
Part 22 - Quantum of Solace (2008)
Part 23 - Skyfall (2012)
Part 24 - Spectre (2015)
Part 25 - No Time to Die (2021)

Non-Eon James Bond films:
Casino Royale (1967)
Never Say Never (1983)