Tuesday, June 16, 2015


I don't know how much further I can go with this James Bond stuff.  I think I need a break.

In this installment, Bond is sent to investigate after a super villain who has to have spent trillions of dollars building a gigantic, secret(!!!) space station above the Earth (remember: this is in 1979!) in order to fill it with a master race of humans, kill all of the humans on Earth with a poisonous gas and then repopulate the planet with his perfect human followers.  Why space?  Even if you're going to have a master race cult and kill the entire population of the Earth wouldn't it just be easier to build a secret lair in a cave under a mountain?  I mean the whole reason Bond even got put on the case to begin with was because somebody was carjacking space shuttles.

Ludicrous story aside I actually kind of liked the film.  Roger Moore was as playful as always, quick pace, some pretty girls, a motorized gondola that turns into a car, a cable car fight scene, skydiving, goofy gadgets, beautiful locations, forgettable villain (who looks like a taller version of Tyrion Lannister...the HBO version), stupid one-liners and best of all: Jaws is back!  I like Jaws because he is just so inefficient!  I mean, he's so awkward looking that he can't go around without being seen from a mile away and his only real weapon is his teeth!  Why doesn't Bond just shoot and kill the dude?  They send Jaws out over and over and over to kill Bond and he never even comes close!  Instead he destroys everything and fails miserably.  It's ridiculous and wonderful.  They should have a Bond spin-off called Bond vs. Jaws where it's just Bond and Jaws fighting for two hours non-stop! 

 If you need me I'll be in my room watching LE MAGNIFIQUE.

Two and a half thunderballs out of five.

Part 1 - Dr. No
Part 2 - From Russia With Love
Part 3 - Goldfinger
Part 4 - Thunderball
Part 5 - You Only Live Twice
Part 6 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Part 7 - Diamonds Are Forever
Part 8 - Live and Let Die
Part 9 - The Man with the Golden Gun
Part 10 - The Spy Who Loved Me
Part 12 - For Your Eyes Only
Part 13 - Octopussy
Part 14 - Never Say Never Again
Part 15 - A View to a Kill
Part 16 - The Living Daylights
Part 17 - License to Kill
Part 18 - GoldenEye
Part 19 - Tomorrow Never Dies
Part 20 - The World Is Not Enough
Part 21 - Die Another Day
Part 22 - Casino Royale
Part 23 - Quantum of Solace
Part 24 - Skyfall
Part 25 - Spectre