Sunday, June 9, 2024


Aliens have landed and things have turned to crap.  Lone survivor Bannon wanders aimlessly around a large city.  Rain falls and massive slow-moving crab-like monsters can been seen walking in the darkened skyline.  Down at the street level, there are human-sized creatures picking through the rubble looking for survivors.  I don’t think it ever says what Bannon did before the fall of humanity, but since he’s an idiot and completely clueless about pretty much everything, I can only guess that he was in middle management.  How this doofus lived this long is a mystery, cause when we’re introduced to him he’s bumbling around alleys and empty buildings making so much racket that you would think he was trying to get discovered.  After many minutes of this nap-inducing excitement Bannon finds a walkie-talkie.  Somehow forgetting that 100% of humanity is populated by lying, backstabbing monsters he calls out for help.  I’m sure that will turn out well for him.

The artwork on the DVD cover for INTO THE ABYSS is dope as fuck.  Unfortunately, the film doesn’t even deliver 0.666% of the awesomeness promised by that artwork.  Slow pace, boring smaller monsters that never brought a ruckus, zero interaction at all with the larger creatures, lots of dark scenes, disappointing ending, very little action, lots of talking, lots of bad decisions, zero gore, a few surreal touches (he backwards running man, the crusty-looking shaman dude in the woods) that I did enjoy.  It’s easy to see that director Matías Xavier Rispau has talent, he just needs to find a better script.

INTO THE ABYSS is watchable, but the 104 minutes you would spend watching this film would be better spent watching the first few episodes of the 2019 series “War of the Worlds” or playing Generation Zero (solo on Guerrilla difficulty) or reading Robert McCammon’s “The Border”.