POLICE ACADEMY 5: ASSIGNMENT: MIAMI BEACH (1988)

Commandant Lassard is going to be honored as "Police Officer of the Decade" at a police convention in Miami Beach, Florida. That in itself is enough to confuse the fuck out of me because from the very first film Lassard has been portrayed as nothing but a buffoon. But whatever, it’s a good excuse for him and a few of his favorite cops to go to Miami. While at the airport. Our police officer of the decade accidentally spills a bunch of golf balls all over the joint and this causes a jewel theft to fall and accidentally swap bags with Lassard. So, for the next hour or so it’s just an unfunny series of skits showing the jewel thieves trying to get the diamonds back from an unwitting Lassard. At the same time, we also get treated to a long series of skits showing the cops in Miami. For example, Hooks yells so loud that some people fall into a swimming pool; Tackleberry shows his gun to a shark and the shark leaves the beach; Hightower throws a frisbee so hard that it lifts Proctor off the ground and a new cop writes the word dork on Harris’ chest while he’s sunbathing. I’m mean, these are some highly funny jokes. Just fucking next level shit.

POLICE ACADEMY 5: ASSIGNMENT: MIAMI BEACH is an odd film in that it is better than the previous film, but it’s still a stinker. The only real comedic bright light is Rene Auberjonois as the bumbling jewel theft. He was actually amusing with that stupid hair and tan and overacting. Other than that, every single joke was a dud. And seeing as there was there was zero nudity and almost nothing sexual going on at all, I’m almost tempted to believe that this is a kid’s movie. Or, at least, geared towards morons with the IQ's of toddlers.

Oh yeah, this was the first Police Academy film without Steve Guttenberg and it shows cause he’s usually the glue that holds the story together. Without him the whole thing just felt disheveled and aimless. There’s also a rumor that Bobcat Goldthwait wasn’t in this film but I don’t think anybody has ever cared enough to confirm that or not.

Part 1 - Police Academy (1984)
Part 2 - Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985)
Part 3 - Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986)
Part 4 - Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
Part 6 - Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)
Part 7 - Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)