Showing posts with label 2010's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2010's. Show all posts

Monday, April 15, 2024

BORDER (2018)

"The entire human race is a disease..."

Swedish Customs officer Tina lives an empty life.  Her job seems to be nothing more than a glorified drug dog (sniffing passengers as they get off a ferry), her elderly father lives in a nursing home and disapproves of her living with the listless Roland who appears taking advantage of Tina for a free place to crash.  Even worse than all of that is Tina suffers from a chromosomal abnormality that makes her look like a caveman.  Or does she?  Her life is turned upside-down one day when a passenger gets off the ferry and he looks a lot like her.  Tina’s life pretty much goes to shit after that.

I really enjoyed the basic idea of BORDER (by the way, that is a horrible name for this movie) and was super into for about 20 minutes, then the story slowly started drifting off into various paths that I found uninteresting and, while I still watched it, I began to lose interest.  Also, the character of Vore was such a grotesque and vile shitbag that I could barely even stand looking at that worthless shit stain.  Tina seemed to be a genuine and likeable character and then when she finally meets somebody of her own kind, the person is an absolute horror.  I didn’t care for that.  But, I guess, that is just life for you.

Up and down pace, beautiful camerawork, a few enhanced shots that were distracting, above average acting, some nudity that I didn’t want to see, interesting story that could have been much better, beautiful Swedish countryside, impressive lighting.  Overall, BORDER is an interesting film that would have been better off if it hadn’t pulled its punches.  Or just told a completely different story with the same character of Tina.  Still, it’s worth watching, just don’t expect too much.

Monday, December 4, 2023

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING (2017)

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING is an awesome movie. I’ve always enjoyed the occasional Marvel Cinematic Universe movies that have passed in front of my incredibly handsome eyeballs, but it wasn’t until HOMECOMING that I actually connected emotionally with the characters and story to the point that I have now gone back and caught up with all of the MCU stuff.

In this (the 16th) installment of the MCU, we have a high school dude by the name of Peter “Penis” Parker who is a small-time superhero. Just you’re friendly neighborhood Spider-Man who uses his spider powers and badass superhero suit (provided to him by Tony Stark) to do stuff like stopping a guy from stealing a bicycle and give directions to an old lady. He’s also on the academic decathlon team and likes to hang out with his best friend, Ned. It’s totally awesome and, honestly, the entire movie could have just been about him getting cats out of trees and assembling a Lego Death Star with Ned and I would have been in movie heaven. But, a movie about Spider-Man playing board games with his buddy for two hours would have made about $666 at the box office, so…one evening while on patrol Spider-Man notices a small gang of criminals robbing an ATM with some badass gear made from the alien tech left over from the Battle of New York (in a previous MCU movie). Shit happens and next thing you know, there’s a dude in a high-tech vulture suit kicking Penis Parker’s pecker and spider balls up around his spider ears. It’s awesome. The entire movie is awesome! I’ve seen it like 30 times and I hope to watch it 30 more times before my handsome and chiseled buns shuffle off to that great gay bar in the sky. Twerking, line dancing, voguing, purple lasers and smoke everywhere. It’ll be **** tight, like a Bon Jovi concert.

The Infinity Saga

Phase One
Part 1 - Iron Man (2008)
Part 2 - The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Part 3 - Iron Man 2 (2010)
Part 4 - Thor (2011)
Part 5 - Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
Part 6 - Marvel's The Avengers (2012)

Phase Two
Part 7 - Iron Man 3 (2013)
Part 8 - Thor: The Dark World (2013)
Part 9 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
Part 10 - Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Part 11 - Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
Part 12 - Ant-Man (2015)

Phase Three
Part 13 - Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Part 14 - Doctor Strange (2016)
Part 15 - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
Part 17 - Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Part 18 - Black Panther (2018)
Part 19 - Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Part 20 - Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)
Part 21 - Captain Marvel (2019)
Part 22 - Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Part 23 - Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

Phase Four
Part 24 - Black Widow (2021)
Part 25 - Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Part 26 - Eternals (2021)
Part 24 - Black Widow (2021)
Part 25 - Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Part 26 - Eternals (2021)
Part 27 - Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Part 28 - Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Part 29 - Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
Part 30 - Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)

Phase Five
Part 31 - Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Part 32 - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Part 33 - The Marvels (2023)