THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING (1966)

Capitalizing on the Cold War paranoid of the time, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING tells the story of a Soviet sub that accidentally runs aground while the captain was innocently sightseeing along the coast of a small New England island.  Stuck like Chuck, the captain sends 9 sailors onshore to get a boat big enough to pull the sub off the sandbar.  Almost immediately they're spotted and their presence understandably causes quite a ruckus.

Seeing as TRACTRAC was written by the same guy who wrote IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD just a few years earlier and even stars a few of the same people, I mistakenly thought that it was going to be the same over-the-top insanity that Mad World was, but no.  This movie was dead in the water right from the very beginning.  The jokes are all tired and flat, the ending is completely unbelievable, Jonathan Winters is wasted, Brian Keith has nothing to work with, none of the Russians have any character and the townsfolk are all morons.  Unfunny morons that clutter up the screen running around like chickens with their dicks cut off.  And that kid at the church!  Oh my god, the excessive sentimentality of that scene made me wanna slam my dick in a car door.  Preferably an orange 1986 Ford Escort.

According to the DVD special features, this film caused quite a stir when it came out (it was the #8 box office draw for 1966 and received four Academy Award nominations, including one for Best Picture!!!), but I honestly have a hard time seeing what the excitement was about.  Outside of enjoying seeing the familiar faces, I say skip it.

If you need me I'll be in my room watching DR. STRANGELOVE.

WORLD WAR III (1982)

Tensions between Russia and America are rising thanks to a grain embargo.  And because of the food shortage in Russia, things are getting out of control, so out of control, in fact, that a group of KGB-led soldiers are airdropped into the remote Alaskan wilderness with the intention of taking over a oil pipeline pumping station.  Unfortunately, there's a group of National Groundsmen training in the area...the Russians kill them.  So now, thanks to a massive weather front that's holding back reinforcements, the only thing between the Russians and the pumping station is a second group of poorly armed National Guardsmen lead by David Soul. At the same time, the President has imposed a media blackout and is in talks with the Russian President, but things are not going well.

WORLD WAR III was broadcast as a two-night miniseries back in January 1982, but other than that I really can't find any information about it.  Was it well received by critics?  Did a lot of people watch it?  I have no idea, but I enjoyed it a lot.  As I mentioned, the story is divided into to parts: the leaders trying to come to a diplomatic solution and the troops on the ground fighting it out.  The American president (played wonderfully by Rock Hudson) is predictably portrayed as a sensitive man with a heart of gold who just wants peace, damn it!  And the Russian leadership was, of course, selfish and quick to kill people in order to get what they want.  All of that is to be expected, but still the negotiations between the two are tense.  On the soldier side, you have David Soul as a war-hardened vet rallying his troops in an almost Alamo-like stand against a enemy force that not only outnumbers them but is also better trained and better armed.  I found it very exciting.

Of course, since this was a made for network television movie back in the early 80's, the violence is pretty tame, but still I found the whole thing to be well-written and the pacing to be really good.  It definitely didn't seem like it was 183 minutes long.  I'd gladly watch it again, but then again, I'm just a sucker for 70's/80's TV movies.  Would make a perfect double-feature with THREADS.