Tuesday, September 27, 2011

URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT (2000)

Where the fuck to even begin with this stinker? After the obviously bullshit beginning we're introduced to a group of dorks, I mean, film students who are working on their thesis films. Each one is a bigger goober than the last one, but the biggest disappointment is the Final Girl, Amy. Can we at least have an attractive girl in the lead role?! The only thing more bland and boring to look at than her is the script. I honestly think it was just an unrelated throwaway script somebody had laying around, but then after the success of the original URBAN LEGEND the filmmakers spiced the turd up with some "urban legend" bullshit in hopes of having a big opening weekend before the word got out that this movie sucked chupacabra penis. And guess what? It work! According to Box Office Mojo UL:FC made it's budget back within two weeks.

Anyways, the students are on campus making their crappy films when suddenly somebody wearing a fencing mask (a fencing mask?!!!) starts picking them off one at a time in very boring ways. In the original the urban legends were a little more explained, but in this one they just kinda happen. The whole movie is a disaster. It's bland overload: the special effects, the killer's mask, the story, the main chick's underwear, Joey "Whoa!" Lawrence, the kills, the weather, the clothes, everything! Everything about this movie was unexciting in the extreme. Skip it with a vengeance and never look back.

Part 1
Part 3

"Whoa!"

Nice granny panties.