"You want me to hack the planet?"
One day freaky accidents start happening. Pacemakers quit working, the guidance
system on the Space Shuttle shits itself, birds get crunk and wreck into a bus,
a random fish hits a window in London (screenshot below), lightning storms, an
EM Tear detected, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...mass
hysteria! Scientists determine that the Earth's core has stopped spinning, so
now a group of dorks are gonna have to drive a laser drill RV down to the bottom
of the planet and give that bitch a nuclear kick in the nuts. Sounds reasonable
enough.
If you're looking for a serious film then it's Bad News Bears for you,
but if you're looking for something cheesy to laugh at then THE CORE is a
safe bet. It's not a cheeseball home run like
ARMAGEDDON, but it's pretty goddamn horrible. I especially liked the hacker dude talking
about his "
kung fu" and the Carl Sagan guy rambling about the human
condition. My one big complaint is there's no hot chicks in the entire movie. It
was a total sausagefest. They should have at least given us one hot chick to
look at. C'mon!
Dated special effects, nearly all male cast, goofy science, Xena tapes, Hot
Pockets, multiple misspelled words, people being thrust forward during a free
fall, Rome blowing up, not all cast members moving during a wreck, plot holes
big enough to drive a laser drill RV through...this movie is an awesome guilty
pleasure that I don't feel guilty at all about enjoying. I honestly watch
it a few times a year. No bullshit. Check it out.
