Monday, February 9, 2015

XANADU (1980)

No, somebody didn't slip frog puss in your sweet tea, this movie is completely wacky...and that's what makes it so much fun!  Then again I do have a weakness for bizarro musicals.

The story, like it even matters, is about this artist who rips up his crappy drawings and then throws them out the window in a humanitarian effort to spare the world from seeing his middle school level crap. The pieces flutter around Los Angeles until they land in front of a wall-size mural on the side of a building. The women painted on the mural come alive and start dancing and exploding and roller skating! I'm not lying! So later on the artist dude is walking in the park when rollerskating Olivia Newton-John bumps into him, kissing him and then explodes away in a flash of light.  The artist guy gets super horny so he steals a motorcycle and drives off a pier! Other stuff happens and before you know it they're opening up a rollerskating disco that's opening night seems like some kind of ultra-bizarre, highly-synchronized cult ritual.

Recommend for the open-minded only.  Grumpy oldz need to stay away. Would make an interesting triple-feature with THE APPLE and THE PIRATE MOVIE.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

AROUND THE WORLD UNDER THE SEA (1966)

In order to help protect future generations from earthquakes, a crew of scientists have been given the task to circumnavigate the Earth underwater and plant 50 sensors at predetermined locations.  Interesting idea for a film, but what ended up on screen wasn't very good.  The rescue scene at the beginning was interesting, but after that things just got lamer and lamer.  I wasn't expecting the story to be realistic, but ATWUTS is completely bonkers.  At one point, they're talking about how the water outside near these hydrothermal vents is 390 degrees.  There's some trouble planting the sensor, so what does Lloyd Bridges do?  He throws on his normal scuba gear (remember we're at the bottom of the ocean) and plants the damn thing himself!!!  Afterwards, he simply says "That was the hottest I've ever been in my life!"  No shit.  There are many moments like this.

I'm sure ATWUTS was geared towards kids, but I was at least hoping for some exciting adventure.  No.  All of the underwater locations all over the world looked exactly the same, there was absolutely no feeling of being in a new location, the submarine set was dark and boring, the underwater miniatures looked fake as hell, pointless side story about some underwater treasure, bad dialogue, plot holes galore, topless Lloyd Bridges.

I'm sure people who saw this as an impressionable child still have fond memories of ATWUTS, but as a handsome adult and a first time viewer I was bored senseless.  Skip it was a vengeance.