THE PASSION OF ANNA (1969)

[Update 03/15/2022: Deleting review. Need rewatch this film and redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

RED BEARD (1965)

[Update 05/30/16: this review sucks.  I will try to redo it soon.]

Set in the 1800's, Yuzo Kayama is a young doctor fresh out of school.  He plans on making a ton of duckets being a doctor to the shogunate, but is sorely disappointed when he's assigned to a public clinic. He immediately butts head with the head doctor, Dr. Kyojo Niide (Toshiro Mifune), also known as Red Beard. At first the new doctor just sits in his room drinking and pouting, but then he starts to loosen up as he hears the heartbreaking stories of the poor and observes their sad lives up close.

Over time, his heart thaws and after six months of guidance by Red Beard, the young doctor becomes not only a great doctor, but a great man, who is more interested in helping people who truly need help than making money by catering to the rich.

Simplistic view, yes, but still a beautiful movie.  It's also the last film of Kurosawa's great period and his final film with Mifune.

SUPERVAN (1977)

SUPERVAN is the heartwarming story about a guy who's heading over to "Freak Out 76", a gathering of van enthusiasts who get together and get fucked up. There's also a contest for the best van and this dude wants to win! While driving there he talks CB lingo to the point that I was wishing for subtitles just to figure out what's going on. He hears that a girl is getting raped at a junkyard, so he rescues her, but during the getaway he accidentally drives his van onto a compactor.

The loss of his van isn't a big deal though because his mad scientist friend just completed "Vandora" a supervan that can drive fast and shoot lasers! A Smokey tries to stop him so he sends out a sonic wave that blows up the coppers radio. Thrilling.

Finally, they get to the big Freak Out and they weren't lying cause there's some freaky, unwashed, fucked up, burned out motherfuckers up in this motherfucker including a cameo by a completely wasted Charles Bukowski spraying down women in a wet t-shirt contest! Let that sink in: I'm sitting here watching a stupid movie about a "super" van when suddenly from out of nowhere one of the greatest writers of all time just wanders onscreen while spraying down women with a water hose! What a weird world we live in.

The main guy takes part in some exciting van competitions like driving your van 10 feet up a hill. Vandora wins the grand prize, but that pisses off a evil van modifying corporation, so then there's a police chase and laser shooting.

If you're into van modifying or bizarre 70's cinema then check it out. Others will probably do best staying away. Zero tits, lame van chases, lots of weird paintings, lots of chicks with funky 70's bodies, futuristic sound effects when Vandora is onscreen, hippies, filmed on location in Missouri!

Charles Bukowski!!!!! What the fuck??!!!!