Monday, October 3, 2016

THE INVISIBLE MANIAC (1990)

"Die you invisible jerk!"

Dr. Kevin Dorkwinkle, I mean, Dornwinkle doesn't have the strongest control of his temper (as evidenced when he beats some fellow scientists to death for daring to laugh at his failed invisibility serum), but when he eventually does come up with a working invisibility serum it plays havoc with his already fragile brain and he's soon going around killing everybody in bizarre ways like ramming a sandwich down a guys throat, aquarium drowning, tossing a radio into a shower, head stomping and fire hose strangulation.  Sounds like rejected Cannibal Corpse song titles!

For what it is, THE INVISIBLE MANIAC isn't so bad.  It's definitely watchable.  Passable (over)acting, steady pace, lots of naked chicks, respectable body count, one outstanding song, late 80's/early 90's fashions, a completely illogical story that wisely ignores the stuff that makes no sense and just rolls with the action instead.

Worth a watch for fans of the "high school teacher turned invisible sex maniac/psycho killer" sub-genre.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

CRACK IN THE WORLD (1965)

In order to solve the worlds renewable energy problem, scientist Dana Andrews heads up a project to drill down to the Earth's core and use its nonstop heat to create power.  Trouble is, once they drilled down nearly to the core they encountered a hard layer that they cannot break through.  Solution: blast that bitch with a nuclear missile!  That's right, launch a missile down into the hole and hope for the best.  Naturally, things don't go too well and the massive explosion (multiplied by a hidden gas pocket) causes a slow-moving (3mph) crack in the Earth's crust.  That can't be good.

Yeah, that's a silly idea for a movie, (you could even say the filmmakers must have been smoking...all of the crack in the world), but it does have potential (massive earthquakes destroying cities, damns bursting, the Golden Gate Bridge falling over, airplane landing on a runway that suddenly splits in two, dogs and cats living together, oceans boiling up gigantic clouds of steam, a volleyball game at a nudist colony is broken up by a sink hole with lava spurting out of it, etc.)...unfortunately none of that shit happens on screen.  Why? Because half of the film it taken up with a love triangle between Andrews, his young wife and her scientist ex-boyfriend who she still has the hots for.  Not a single motherfucker who paid to see a movie called Crack in the World(!!!) gave a single fuck about a love triangle, but it's an excuse to chew up runtime without spending money of special effects, so it what we got.

Insulting lack of action, weak ending, annoying screaming by the lead actress, magmanauts, mediocre acting, a guy with zero respect for helicopter blades, misleading tag line on the poster: "The day the Earth split in two!"...bullshit.

Based on the poster artwork, I was looking forward to seeing this movie.  I was really curious as to how they were going to overcome the Earth splitting in friggin' two, but in the end, I just ended up disappointed and feeling sorry for Dana Andrews wasting his talents on this lying turkey.
Look how close that helicopter blade is to that guys dome!

THE BAD SLEEP WELL (1960)

It's a story as old as humanity itself: those with more (in this case, power and money) totally fucking over those with less.

News of an impending police investigation into corruption between two large corporations is just starting to become public, so the executives decide to do the right thing, admit their guilt and pay the price for their wrongdoings...hahahahahahahaha!!!!  You must be a poor person if you believed that!  No, the executives simply follow their natural instincts and convince their underlings (fall guys) to do the "honorable" thing and commit suicide for the good of the corporation.  It's a win-win-win situation for upper management: they can't be found guilty if all of the people who might have squealed under pressure are dead, they lowered the payroll and...there's more available spaces in the parking lot!  And they would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for a meddling vigilante who always seems to be one step ahead of them.  Guess that means their just gonna have to start playing even dirtier.

Cynical story full of murder, betrayal and dishonesty that (sadly) wouldn't even hold a candle to the stuff that's going on nowadays, strong performances by an impressive cast, average pace that could have been sped up a bit, good direction, pretty much all tight and medium camera shots.

THE BAD SLEEP WELL might be too slow or dated for most modern day audiences, but fans of Kurosawa and classic Japanese cinema will enjoy it.