Sunday, July 4, 2010

CHAW (2009)

Do you know why somebody would rent a movie about a giant killer boar terrorizing a small mountain town? To see a giant killer boar terrorizing a small mountain town. Not, I repeat not, to spend well over a hour of the 121 minute running time watching the lame locals talk and talk and talk about their lame lives and their lame thoughts on what's killing people and then finally their lame idea on how to kill the giant CG boar that's running so stealthily through the forest that we don't even see it completely for first 57 minutes.

To make a long story short a giant boar is running around the mountains outside a small village. It kills a few people so a group of big game hunters are brought in to kill it. They and the local cops talk a lot and wander around in the woods forever until they finally confront the giant boar and then exactly like the giant boar fight in RAZORBACK they have a final showdown in a large warehouse building. The End. I was happy for the first few minutes then things just kept going on and on and on with no action and completely needless side stories (the police officer's mother, the old folktale about a giant boar) until finally I was praying for the end.

Not a horrible movie (there were a few humorous scenes), but it's way too long. Zero tits, no gore, very little blood. Skip it. Watch TREMORS or JAWS again instead.
What is up with that dude's pants?!!