Sunday, January 2, 2011

ECLIPSE (2010)

They can't make these fast enough for me. In fact I wish they'd quit releasing these little two hour teasers and just release a 40+ hour epic. I'd be in Heaven.

A gang of bloodthirsty "newborn" vampires are out to kill Bella. But that's not what we're concerned about, ohhh no. I want to know if that dog butt sniffing Jacob has got the hint and fucked off yet?! The answer: hell no! That douchey, cockblocking asshole is still around and just as cockblocky as ever. Can't he find his own goddamn woman?

A few other things I noticed: I'm really digging Alice. I'd be just as happy as could be if the camera followed Alice around for a few hours. I think she's really cute, has a interesting personality and her psychic powers are cool. Also I don't read the books, so I don't know what happens to Bella's dad, but I'm hoping that he accidentally gets turned into a vampire but he keeps his job as Sheriff and then gets his own spinoff series where it's like "Twin Peaks" meets "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" and he has to solve mysterious and fight weird monsters while coming to grips with the fact that he's now a vampire. To complicate matters even more, women are suddenly more attracted to him, but he's only interested in true love.

ECLIPSE progresses the story along nicely, but like I said it just wasn't long enough. I want more goddamn it! It leaves you with some teaser stuff about the Volturi and the wedding and Bella finally becoming a goddamn vampire. Agggggghhhhh, now I'm going to have to wait another year to find out what happens.  This is bullshit!!!

Part 1 - Twilight
Part 2 - The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Part 4 - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1
Part 5 - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2