Showing posts with label Elijah Wood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elijah Wood. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 16, 2013


Guaranteed to jack you up!  Awww, yeah!!!  Borrowing heavily from the INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS idea THE FACULTY is about a small group of teenagers who start to notice weird shit going on at their high school.  Turns out the faculty and most of their fellow students have been taken over by some weird outer space buttholes and if they don't stop 'em they're gonna take over the world!

As far as high school sci-fi horror movies go THE FACULTY isn't too bad.  If you saw it as a teen back in '98 you probably have a special affection for it, but even without that it still holds up alright.  The story is about as unoriginal as it gets, but the acting is good and it was a lot of fun seeing a young Elijah Wood gettin' all stressed out and chased by a multi-tentacled monster.  Poorly lit topless scene, nice pace, worms, blood, stereotypical high school cliques.  It ain't no CLASS OF 1999, but it's still a fun ride.

Friday, December 23, 2011


Ah yes, "The Great Asteroid/Comet Battle of 1998". DEEP IMPACT vs. ARMAGEDDON. Who could forget it? It was almost as exciting as "The Great Volcano Battle of 1997"!

One quiet evening some young amateur astronomers are looking up at the sky when what do they see but a gigantic comet headed straight for Earth! Holy fook!!! It's actually not that straightforward, but soon enough word gets out that we're all going to die and everyone goes bonkers...dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria! But wait! Humanity has one last chance to survive in the form of a huge spaceship filled with oh so brave astronauts that is going to travel out to the comet, drill holes, insert bombs and explode that bitch! There's also a side story about a national lottery that will give a very small percentage of the American population access to a newly build bomb shelter that will survive the impact.

Compared to ARMAGEDDON DI is much more serious and in some ways a better film, but at the same time ARMAGEDDON was so goddamn stupid it ended up being more entertaining. If I had to choose between the two films I would have to go with ARMAGEDDON just because it's funny and action-packed whereas DEEP IMPACT is kind of a bummer and President Morgan Freeman's endless heartfelt speeches made me want to fucking vomit!

Zero nudity, zero Aerosmith songs, touching moments overload, 90's level CGI destruction, good pacing, forgettable acting by everybody. Entertaining, especially the first half, but the ratio of sappy emotional moments vs. destruction was way off. Nice enough watch, but I'll probably never ever watch it again.