A woman is gang raped by a bunch of construction workers. Next thing you know a
motorcycle helmeted maniac wearing camouflage clothing is going around killing
people with a nail gun. The camouflage is pointless though because the killer is
also wearing a bright yellow compressed air bottle on his/her back that's
connected by a bright yellow hose to a nail gun!
I'm not going to bullshit you and say this is a good movie. It's a fucking turd,
but an entertaining turd if you're in the right frame of mind. THE NAIL GUN
MASSACRE is one of the greatest bad movies of all time. In the Special Features
on the DVD the director tries to play it off like he knew it wasn't going to be
a good movie so he cheesed it up some, but I have my doubts about that. I don't
think it's even fucking
possible to
purposely make a movie so perfectly shitty!
Making a perfect bad movie is an almost impossible task. Rule #1 is you must be
trying to make a good movie. The audience has to be laughing
at you not with you. TNGM succeeds
here. The actors appear to just be a bunch of locals and/or friends; the editing
is a nightmare, there's scenes that go on and on and on for no reason; the
killer drives a gold colored hearse; the special effects are elementary school
play level; there's many moments where the background noise is louder than the
actors talking; the killer has tons on one-liners, but his/her voice is so badly
distorted you can barely understand what's being said and there's zero logic to
the story: people die almost instantly after being shot with just one nail, even
in places like the hand or shoulder. Also, if you obviously have a person
running around with a air canister fed nail gun why don't the police just do a
search on all the air canisters sold locally in the last year. They're in a
small town for Satan's sake!
Bergman it's not, but as far as shitty movies go this one deserves a spot in The
Shitty Movie Hall of Fame, if there is such a thing. It's shitty, but
action-packed and the slow scenes are so bizarre that they're fun too. It's also
got some great lines to quote. My two favorites: "
OK Turdface, cut the small talk!" and the confusing "
Besides, I'm hornier than a rooster in a Chinese hen house.". What the fuck?
Highly recommended for the lovers of awesome bad movies. Also, here's a few
NSFW screenshots.
Woman staring at camera and reading directly from the script.
Dead man prevents himself from falling by holding onto fence.
