Saturday, December 7, 2013

CATACOMBS (1988)

Oh my god what a boring movie!  Four-hundred years ago an ugly dude with demonic powers is boringly sealed into a room in the basement of a monastery.  Fast-forward to the present day and a female teacher comes to visit the monastery.  At the same time the demon dude breaks free of his tomb and...does pretty much nothing.  No bullshit at least 95% of this movie is just people talking and walking around.  There are a few murders, but they're so boring they wouldn't startle the weakest of horror fans.  I've seen more brutal murders on reruns of "Remington Steele"!

Zero excitement, zero gore, zero nudity, slow as molasses pace that had me yawning nonstop.  Can you imagine the anger and disappointment this turd must have created when it came out on video back in the day and some poor teenager went through all kinds of hoops to secretly watch it only to be rewarded with 84 minutes of talking?!

Skip it.  There is absolutely no reason that this movie should come within 500 yards of your TV.