Thursday, December 26, 2013

ROCKY IV (1985)

"If he dies, he dies."

USA!  USA!  USA!!!  That's right comrades, this is the Rocky where those dirty Russians send their top athlete, Ivan Drago, over to America to pound every last drop of patriotic blood out of anybody who's stupid enough to step into the ring with him.  And because he's such a badass, he wants to skip all the preliminary stuff and go directly into a championship bout with Rocky!  That's out of the question, so instead Apollo Creed agrees to an exhibition match to see what this Ruskie's got.  And apparently he's got a lot, because in the second round...he beats Creed to death!!

Fueled by revenge and patriotic fervor, Rocky agrees to fight Russia!!!  One advantage that Rocky has over Drago is his ghetto workout area.  For pretty much the entire series, whoever has the most rundown, shitty-looking workout area wins the big fight.  So while Drago is over here using computers and new-fangled equipment, Rocky is training in a functioning barn complete with cow farts, rocks, ropes, fire and a log...just like the Founding Fathers intended.

1985 was a great year for Sylvester Stallone.  Not only did he make the greatest Rambo movie of all time (RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II), but he also made what is arguably the most enjoyable Rocky movie of all time.  Even in 1985 money, ROCKY IV still made nearly double what ROCKY BALBOA did in 2006 money!  Yes, it's just formulaic propaganda, but it's so awesomely 80's you can't help but get all pumped up while watching it.  Highly recommended.

If there’s ever a course in film school called "How to Montage the Fuck Out of Your Movie", ROCKY IV will be shown on day one.

Part 1 - Rocky (1976)
Part 2 - Rocky II (1976)
Part 3 - Rocky III (1982)
Part 5 - Rocky V (1990)
Part 6 - Rocky Balboa (2006)
Part 7 - Creed (2015)
Part 8 - Creed II (2018)